Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

What makes the raccoon story from yesterday even funnier was that I could hear my girlfriend, who was waiting in the hallway to get a Brazilian as well, laughing hysterically. I’m wrestling with a wailing woman, sweating like crazy and I can hear my friend laughing in the next room. That was helpful.

If you have ever heard raccoons mating, it sounds like a cross between gregarious laughter and a bloody massacre. That is exactly what a 30 year old woman sounded like during her Brazilian yesterday.

I learn something new every day. Yesterday I learned that a man I know got a yeast infection in his mouth from kissing a woman in her private area.

Chicks who get Brazilians are TOUGH.

I saw a friend with a plain, black cane last night. I told him it was boring and he needed to Vajazzle it. I think I should have said Bedazzle.

I had a client tell me that when she used to get waxed in another city, her man always knew she had gotten a Brazilian without even knowing about the appointment. Apparently, he could smell it. There must have been a strong odor to the wax the technician used that lingered on her skin even hours after she got it done.

Even though there is a boat load of swearing in the wax rooms, there is plenty of love and gratitude that is expressed. A woman told me that her vagina loved me. Of course I had to tell her that I loved her vagina too.
~your Brazilian lover~

It takes a lot to get me nervous in the wax room. But when a nine month pregnant woman with 2 inch hair between her legs starts doing her Lamaze breathing during the service, I was anticipating some water breaking on my table.
~your Brazilian OB/GYN~

I love when people dream about Mark & M.E. A woman, who was long overdue for a wax, had a very vivid dream that Mark waxed her. She said he did it much differently in her dream, however. He sprayed her entire pubic area with the astringent first so she would get goose bumps. I can see him trying to be creative like that.
~keeping Brazilians in the family~

I asked a woman to hold her leg so she didn’t kick me. She laughed and said “you’ve never been kicked before, have you?” I need to put cameras in the room. People would be shocked by how physical my job can be.
~your Brazilian punching bag~