Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A lady brought her toddler into the room while she got her Brazilian. The little girl was eating a snack and playing with a toy. It didn’t look like she was paying any attention at all to what we were doing. When they left the salon, the little girl asked her mom why I touched her hiney. The mom told her I was a doctor.

I have waxed females aged 13-75 and often get asked if there is an age limit or if I require parental consent. Waxing isn’t permanent, like a tattoo, so there is no need for consent. And although it may seem shocking to some that a 13 year old would want a Brazilian, have you seen our young teens lately? They are more developed at 13 then I was at 25.

Women like to share their pet names for their lady parts with me. One woman calls it her “hen house.” I was confused at first thinking about laying eggs and lots of hay covering the area. But she cleared up the confusion when she said it’s the place where all the cocks want to go.

My raccoon lady said she had been wanting to get a Brazilian at Mark & M.E. since she was 18 years old. I wasn’t sure how old she was, but I have learned that the longer you wait, the more nervous you become. So I asked her how old she was. She was 30. That explained a lot.

The raccoon lady wouldn’t stop closing her legs on me, so there was a lot of wax embedded in a large mound of hair in the center. When I finally found the leverage and right angle to remove the mound (by holding her knee down and having her man hold her other one), I showed her the stubborn glob of hair. She called it her wolf pet.
the Brazilian animal story continues…

What makes the raccoon story from yesterday even funnier was that I could hear my girlfriend, who was waiting in the hallway to get a Brazilian as well, laughing hysterically. I’m wrestling with a wailing woman, sweating like crazy and I can hear my friend laughing in the next room. That was helpful.

If you have ever heard raccoons mating, it sounds like a cross between gregarious laughter and a bloody massacre. That is exactly what a 30 year old woman sounded like during her Brazilian yesterday.

I learn something new every day. Yesterday I learned that a man I know got a yeast infection in his mouth from kissing a woman in her private area.

Chicks who get Brazilians are TOUGH.

I saw a friend with a plain, black cane last night. I told him it was boring and he needed to Vajazzle it. I think I should have said Bedazzle.