Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Camel toe is a bizarre expression. What makes it even more horrifying is when it’s bumpy because it’s covered in hair.

The other day I was hanging out with a friend and having a few cocktails. He told me that he was very thankful that I turned his wife onto Brazilian Waxing. As he was rubbing his cheeks with his hands, he repeatedly told me how much better it felt on his face.

Many women participated in the “No Shave November” because they didn’t like their men with hair on their face. They retaliated by letting their hair grow as well, just not on their face. Well November is over, so get all your hairy bushes in to see me today!
~your Brazilian Bush Master~

Yesterday, a man asked his wife how I could do a Brazilian in only 10 minutes. She said I was the Vagina Ninja.

A new girl walked in my room and I asked her when she had her last Brazilian. She said yesterday. It sounds ridiculous at first because no one’s hair grows back in one day, but I wasn’t surprised because this isn’t the first time this has happened. She went to another salon that spent an hour doing her “supposed” Brazilian. The technician not only broke every single hair across the front, she didn’t do anything down below except burn the girl’s creases of her leg. I had to re-wax the entire area and give her a lesson on how to properly tweeze the front. Supposedly the technician tweezed for awhile, but, not only was she not successful, she must have been pinching the skin because it was very painful for the client. Waxing should not be this awful.

I got a message from a client that said after her deforestation with me, her husband called it her “venus fly trap” because it was luring him. She thought it should have been called her “penis guy trap.”
~your Brazilian Siren~

A guy requested that I wax and buff his woman’s puss to a high gloss shine. After I finished waxing her and she put oil all over the area, that’s exactly how it looked.

I appreciate feedback any way I can get it. People respond to me on Facebook, via email and even at the salon and I love hearing what people have to say. I really try to be receptive to the needs and requests from every client who has a concern. The only time that I have a problem responding to a request is when you ask me to slow down. I have a really hard time slowing down. I have been waxing for a long time and my technique has become second nature to me. Basically, when you ask me to slow down, it’s like asking me not to breathe.

After yesterday’s post about the girl who doubted me and my ability to perform a wax in 10 minutes or less, one of my clients suggested that Brazilian Waxing become an Olympic event. My fastest wax to date is a petite Asian girl who took me less than one minute. In fact, I had her completely bald with no strays in 40 seconds. I think I’d win the Gold.

Mark & M.E. is known for being the Home of the Ten Minute Brazilian, so I was surprised by a new client who came into my wax room and wanted to know how I knew it would only take 10 minutes? I told her I have waxed thousands of women and I know from experience that’s how long it takes. She said she didn’t believe me and no one could guarantee that it would only take that amount of time. She told me her last wax took 1 1/2 hours. I told her she obviously didn’t come to Mark & M.E. Although she resisted me through out the entire service, I had her bald in eight minutes.