Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

This Christmas season hasn’t been as crazy as usual, so I think I need to reiterate my favorite holiday mantra: You cannot have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha.

I don’t care if you have butt zits.

Don’t know what to give your man for Christmas? Obvious to me. Get a Brazilian put a big, red bow on it. Beats a sweater.

One of my regular’s was given 3 Groupons to another salon for Brazilians. When she walked in, no one acknowledged her for a solid 10 minutes. The room was small & sterile, like a gynecologist office. She had to ask the woman to put on gloves. The woman had to find some. She wasn’t lying flat on a table; her upper body was elevated which doesn’t work well at all. She was never asked to lift a leg or roll on her side. There was no clean up station. When my client asked what she could use to clean up, the woman told her to go to the drugstore and buy cortisone cream. After a very long, awkward service, she left sticky and hairy. She threw the other 2 Groupons out and came to see me yesterday. She said she was really happy to be back home again.

A new client told me how nice I was yesterday. I wondered what she thought a Brazilian Technician would be like. Did she think I was going to be mean?

Although I am a huge fan of vagina’s, I saw a wireless mouse in the shape of a vagina that was pretty creepy. It’s only redeeming factor was that it was hairless.

During this holiday season, the only thing that should be hairy is Santa’s beard.
~your Brazilian Elf~

A girl called for an appointment for a Brazilian, and I told her to come right over. She told me she couldn’t be there for an hour, because she needed to find her leather strap for her mouth.

A woman in her 60’s came in for a wax. SHe was going down south to visit her boyfriend. When I finished her Brazilian, she sat up and said Happy Hanukkah to him!

You don’t have to worry about saying anything stupid during your Brazilian that will get you in my book, because it has already been published!