Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A woman told me her Rabbit died from overuse. I told her to give her bunny a quick funeral and go buy herself another one.
~Brazilian Sex Advice~

I used to come to Mark and M.E. all the time to get mani/pedis, trims, and waxes. I cannot express how much I miss you all since I moved out of state. I can’t find any salon or spa in VA that has even close to the same level of personality, enthusiasm, and love that you guys have, much less the skill for waxing. Nobody talks to me when I get my nails or hair done. It’s sad. Next time I’m in Roc, I’m coming to visit.

~rosie

I woke up this morning thinking about when I taught elementary school with a G rated vocabulary and how my career change has so drastically altered my language skills.
~Brazilians encourage naughty words~

A lot of women threw out their loofah’s this week.
~making your Brazilian as beautiful as possible~

Another first at Mark & M.E: With every rip, a girl cursed and squirmed.(now, that’s nothing new) She even begged me not to finish. After the 5th rip, which was on the inner thigh, outer lip area, she jumped up and flipped over onto all fours and froze in a crouching tiger position. She even stayed there for a minute. I’ve never put a woman on all four’s during a Brazilian before, and although it was pretty funny, I still don’t think it is a position for a client to be in.

One of my clients sent an email to Elvis Duran about me and sent me a copy of the note. She told him that I broke her Brazilian Cherry. I love that!

I don’t like loofahs. They overstimulate the bikini area, often causing more irritation. Secondly, because they are porous, they tend to be filled with bacteria and bacteria can cause acne. If you looked at your loofah under a microscope, three things could potentially happen: you’d see the bacteria, you’d throw up, then you’d throw it away. Do your bikini area a favor and use a wash cloth.
~making your Brazilian as beautiful as possible~

Since the majority of the crazy stories happen in the wax rooms at Mark & M.E., the Hollywood Production Company has decided not to use us in a reality show. I am disappointed, because I think my Brazilian clients would make great TV!

Gray hair tends to be more coarse. It can be very itchy and uncomfortable growing in sensitive areas. That is why it is vital that all age women get Brazilians. You are never too old to polish your hardwoods.

One of my clients was reading my hygiene chapter to her husband. She told him that was the reason she insisted on having a hose on her shower head.
~The Happy Hoo-Ha reigns~