Today is April 15th. Tax day. I’d rather give myself one of those unconscionable 45 minute Brazilians then pay my taxes.
Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha
Thoughts, stories, and insights from M.E. Nesser
Pilonidal cysts occur when a hair becomes ingrown. They usually form near your backside and require surgery to remove. One of my clients was in the operating room during this procedure and the surgeon told her to “make sure to teach your patients about Brazilians. I do 5-6 of these surgeries a week. A good ass waxing would prevent this.” Priceless.
A woman had 2 eggs implanted and is expecting 3 girls. Baby A is sitting on her cervix. Baby C has her leg nestled between her breast bone. I’m not sure where baby B is hanging out. She is 30 weeks and each baby is already 3 pounds. As you can imagine, she has a pretty big belly. But never too big for ME! I am proud to say I accomplished another first yesterday and successfully gave an expecting mother of triplets a full Brazilian.
I asked a new client how she heard of me. She laughed and said Build-A-Bear. She asked another mom where she got waxed during a five year old party and the woman told her all about me and how the whole Brazilian thing worked at Mark & ME. Bears are hairy creatures, so I can totally understand why she thought of waxing at a place like that.
What is the key to a happy marriage? A happy hoo-ha.
After her first Brazilian, a girl said it was like a new toy and she wanted to show everyone.
A woman had to take her cat to the vet to have his genitalia shaved, because the hair had gotten so long, the cat was unable to clean itself. She told me it was the first time her cat had a Brazilian.
I just saw a riddle that asked what the difference was between men and insects? The answer: men have zippers. I have to admit that I am ok with my man bugging me. It’s a sign he wants me. And since it is impossible for a woman with a Brazilian to get bugs down there, then I say we leave the insect repellent in the cupboard and enjoy our pesky critters.
After reading The Happy Hoo-Ha, a girl told me she put a breath mint in her mouth and then was tempted to put one between her legs.
In 1999, there was a really silly movie made called Superstar. The main character (Molly Shannon) thinks she can be a Superstar but couldn’t be any more awkward. When I watching it yesterday, all I could think of is how a woman feels so amazing after she gets a Brazilian that it would be perfectly acceptable and appropriate to get down on one knee, raise your arms to the heavens and scream “Superstar!”