Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Not only was my brow client from yesterday able to show emotion again, her face genuinely looked happier. Waxing has serious powers.

I waxed a ton of eyebrows last week. One girl had no shape at all to her brows. When I finished and showed her the mirror, she said that now she could show emotion again.
~the powers of waxing~

Doctors claim pubic hair acts as a cushion during intimacy. I think cushions are difficult to clean, harbor dirt and dust, and often need replacing. I think I will stick with my wood furniture. Hardwoods love a good waxing.

After an emotional breakup with her fiancé, a woman stopped waxing because she took a hiatus from any sexual activity. She finally got fed up with celibacy and called the salon in a frenzy begging for a Brazilian so she could end her dry spell.

Hair can generate heat & moisture. And perspiration tends to contain some bacteria which, in turn, can lead to break outs. So although it may seem like a good idea to save money and go longer between waxes this time of the year, don’t blame the wax lady if your skin isn’t as pretty under the Un-Enchanted Forest.

Being dehydrated can make your wax more painful, because your skin is composed of mostly water and is more resistant when it is not properly hydrated. A girl came in yesterday afternoon who hadn’t had anything to eat or drink all day. She found the Brazilian much more painful then usual. As she was cleaning up, she said that her body was definitely off limits to her man for the rest of the day.

I have been blogging a very long time.
And since I went two days over, I thought I would rhyme.
I forgot to mark the milestone of 1300 consecutive days.
I guess I must be in a vagina induced haze.
~your Brazilian Queen~

So the woman from yesterday who left the salon and went home to finish my book was successful in finding what I wrote about her. About a week after her first Brazilian, I asked her if she liked her wax. She told me she didn’t like the way it felt when she farted.

A couple came together for her Brazilian. The husband told me he read my book but that his wife didn’t finish it. I asked her if she came across the part that was about her. She said she didn’t and wanted to know what I wrote about her. I wouldn’t tell her, but I thought it was in the chapter “Crazy Shit People Tell Me.” About an hour after they left the salon, she called us to say she found the part about her and thought it was hysterical.

You know it’s time for a Brazilian when you make your husband take your four year old to swim practice two weeks in a row, because you have too much hair sticking out of your bathing suit.