Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I hate when my hair gets messy in the wind. So I guess if you don’t believe in Brazilians, you better not walk outside naked today.

One of my clients had an excellent idea about my locker room incident. She suggested that I make a sign that says “Fluff your Muff with your own hair dryer.” Great idea. Although getting a Brazilian would ultimately solve the problem and remove the need for any electrical appliance.

I am glad you all felt the same way about my locker room incident. Pubic hair does not have to be offensive. I think landing strips and martini glasses can be cute. But if you decide to leave some in the front, please remember that it needs to be properly landscaped so you don’t need an electrical appliance to dry it.
~Brazilian Beauty Tips~

I was traumatized in the locker room at the gym yesterday. I was walking towards a naked woman who separated her pubic hair in three ceremonial gestures. She then proceeded to use the communal blow dryer to dry, not only the front, but the underneath as well. It was horrifying. I can understand that not everyone believes in Brazilians, but this was just not OK.

You should never feel uncomfortable when you get a Brazilian by me. Your lady parts are just skin and hair. It might as well be your knee for all I care. And if you act all shy and embarrassed, it’ll piss me off. And you never want to piss off the lady with the hot wax.

Six weeks from today is Christmas. If you want me to leave a Christmas Tree shape on you the next time you come in for a Brazilian, please note that you are responsible for lighting it up.

Fi fi fo fum
I love when there is no hair on the bum.
~Brazilian Rhyme~

People have a love hate relationship with me. One minute I’m a bitch. The next I’m your best friend.
~Your Brazilian BFF~

A guy asked his girlfriend when she was going to see the Miracle Worker, because he thought she was overdue for a Brazilian. Watch out Helen Keller, ME is in the house!

There was a scabies outbreak at a local hospital recently. Those little buggers like warm, moist areas. Just another reason to get a Brazilian.