Back by popular demand, The Happy Hoo-Ha 12 Days of Christmas Song!
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha
Thoughts, stories, and insights from M.E. Nesser
This is the start of many generous Christmas gifts from my awesome clients. This client liked the ‘wax’ on the top of the bottle. She thought it was appropriate since I wax her. Little did she know that Makers Mark is Mark’s favorite bourbon. She also noticed in a Facebook post that I liked Slim Jim’s in my Bloody Mary’s. Thank you to everyone who made Christmas week so much fun!
Tis the season of ugly sweaters. I had a woman ask me to get rid of her ugly sweater, and it wasn’t a garment attached to her torso!
~Holiday Hair Humor~
I love to tease how there is a difference between the way black women and white women deal with the pain of waxing. White women tend to swear like truckers. Black women, on the other hand, tend to scream for Jesus. Yesterday, I heard a new expression that I loved and couldn’t wait to share. Instead of saying ‘mother f’er’ (which is a common expletive in the wax room by white ladies) a woman yelled ‘mother nature!’ What a pleasant way to express discomfort.
A woman asked me to leave the shape of a mistletoe on her bikini area. At first, I was perplexed how to form her hair into such an intricate design. So I had to ask her why she wanted that particular shape since I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull it off? She said she wanted her man to kiss her under the mistletoe. Who could argue with that? I had to try.
To all of my friends who love to have a Happy Hoo-Ha, please don’t be afraid to contact me for an appointment this week. Sadly, we have had many cancellations due to illness and hectic schedules. Don’t suffer with all of that extra tinsel on your tree. Come see me before Saturday. I want to make sure everyone has a Happy Holiday with their hairless hoo-ha’s!
Please don’t wait until the last minute to coif you cootch before Christmas. Call me today! And remember, Mark and I leave on Saturday for a really long time. You’d hate to get a chewbacca look-a-like doll under your Christmas tree. 585-473-7360
The Happy Hen House is now available at Barnes and Noble on NOOK! Not only is this a hilarious non-fiction book about the shenanigans that happen at Mark and M.E., I introduce my little voice (A gay Hispanic man named Raul) who speaks the truth. I’ve also hired an illustrator named Brian Robbins to demonstrate the 5 positions I put my clients in when they are getting a Brazilian in the most hysterical drawings.
It’s a fun read for only 4.99.
After the stolen Cadillac debacle, you’d think Mark would be more conscientious about leaving things around the salon unattended. This morning, we went to Mark and M.E. to check the messages, feed the fish and shovel the walkway, but uh-oh….guess what’s missing? Mark’s favorite shovel has been stolen. He must have left it outside when he left Saturday. You have to appreciate that he believes in a world where your possessions are safe and everyone loves one another, but, once again, that was not the case. So off to Home Depot for a new shovel. I don’t think Onstar will help us this time.