Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Last year.. Details magazine.

WOOHOO we are famous 🙂

OMG… LOL

My clients keep me updated on what is trendy or hip. My life is too busy to browse through girly magazines to keep up with the changes in fashion or behaviors. I hear about all sorts of popular trends like hair styles, nail polish colors, verbal expressions, text abbreviations, types of birth control…. And every once in awhile, I am surprised by what I learn.

So since when did “anal become the new oral?”

So I am probably the fastest wax tech around. I can make some girls completely bald in 3-4 minutes. No kidding….no strays…. I have also been called all sorts of interesting names. A couple months ago a lady came to me for the 1st time. It was her 2ND Brazilian ever. Her first experience with someone else lasted almost an hour. She was pretty surprised that it took me less than 10 minutes. She had some female problems which lead to some slight bruising on her bikini line after I finished the service. The day after she got waxed by me, she went to her gynecologist. Since she was scheduling a surgery, he was concerned about how fragile her skin was in that area. So he asked her who the person was that waxed her. She said Zorro. He told her to tell Zorro to slow down.

There is a reason I named the book “Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha.” After this week, I am tempted to change it to “Power Wash Your Pussy!” Get the hint?

People have all sorts of pet names for their v-jay-jays. In fact, I have written an entire chapter in my book about the different names that I have heard over the years. What you don’t hear much about are names for the rectum. So I was excited when a client told me her girlfriend calls her anus the “brown starfish.” After years of looking at assholes, I was thoroughly amused by that description. It’s more appropriate then you may think.

I love hearing about the different things men say to encourage their women to come see me. One husband told his wife that he wished she’d do something with her enchanted forest. I told her there was nothing enchanting about the huge, overgrown bush that was between her legs.

Occasionally women scream when they get waxed. After all these years, what’s a little screaming? In most cases, it’s pretty amusing. But when a woman reaches in her purse to grab a sock to carry to the waxing table, one has to wonder what is going on. And when she gets on the table and says she is ready as she puts the sock in her mouth, it’s impossible not to laugh.

hahahaha you need to get this published! so funny