Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Ever wonder why I ask you to hold your leg while I wax your lips?

Because I am tired of getting kicked in the head!

A lady calls and says she didn’t know if she should cancel her appointment because she had just gotten her period. My husband told her to put a fresh tampon in when she got to the shop and I’d be happy to do her.
When she started undressing, she asked me if I knew she had called. I hadn’t. Women call all the time wondering if I can wax them during their cycle. I told her as long as she was plugged up, we were good.
So she undressed, hopped up on the table, and told me that she never wore tampons.

It shouldn’t surprise anyone that a lot of swearing goes on during a wax service. Some of the sweetest, most conservative women can swear like truck drivers. Women even swear in other languages. That always makes me laugh. Many women apologize because they get embarrassed when they scream obscenities, but I always try to reassure them that it is very common and doesn’t bother me at all. I even read a blurb in a magazine that said swearing can help you cope with pain better. So swear away, my virgin ears can take it.
And, for the record, fuck is the number one swear word that I hear when I wax someone.

There’s a really long chapter in my book about hygiene. It’s called “what’s that smell?” When you are dealing with genitalia, it’s vital that the area you are working on is clean. Therefore, if I am waxing your backside and I pull the strip off and there is brown residue all over the strip, you seriously do not understand how to properly cleanse yourself prior to a wax. Bowel movements and Brazilians should be two totally distinctive, unrelated events. Get it?

Every week I have at least one married woman come in to get a wax for her boyfriend. Doesn’t matter to me who you are waxing for. Just a bummer more people aren’t having mind blowing sex with their husbands.

Those are some kick-ass Deltoids!! Nice photo, Hoo-Ha Mama!!

A friend of mine suggested I post a pic of myself for those of you who wonder what I look like. Fortunately my daughter knew how to do this. I think she found an appropriate picture for this blog, but I was disappointed that I couldn’t add a caption to it.

So, if you’re interested, scroll down to the right to see the pic.

And, if I could, I’d like the caption to say…”you never know what you’ll find down there!”

hahaha that’s great!

We are very kid friendly at our salon. For most salon services, it doesn’t really matter if the client has a child with them. It can be awkward, however, when a mom comes in for a Brazilian and has a child with her. Usually we leave the kids downstairs with my husband or a staff member. Occasionally, children do come in the room with their mom. Unless the child is poorly behaved, I could care less.
Today a lady came in with her son & daughter. I offered them some puzzles to play with and showed them a place on the first floor to hang out while I took their mom upstairs. I asked her what her kids thought she was doing at the salon. She told them I was helping her with her groin injury.
Close enough.

I spent a lot of time coming up with the title of the book, and since most people laugh when I tell them the title, I think it was a good choice. I also put a lot of thought into the chapter titles. I do not mean to be disrespectful to any man that I have ever waxed, but, for the most part, men do not tolerate the waxing procedure as well as their female counterpart. That is why my chapter on men is called “guys are the real pussies.”