Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

The name of our salon, Mark & M.E. refers to me and my husband Mark. He does hair, I do hair removal. When you come in for a Brazilian, expect to get the whole sha-bang waxed. What that means is that I am going to wax your ass. My name is on the sign. I make the rules. You’re not leaving with a bushy backside, so get over it.

I had a woman tell me that she thought getting waxed was very refreshing. I guess if you put the hand sanitizer on instead of the oil on your puss to clean up, you’d get that cool, peppermint patty kind of sensation. As long as you are good enough to eat, all is good.

There’s a title in the book that I am trying to get published called “Bald At Any Age.” The reality is this. You know you’re getting old when your pubes start turning grey. And, believe me, when you find the first one, it’s fucking traumatizing.

Just another reason to wax it all.

Started driving on a road trip this week and passed the town of Hornel. A new client drove from there to get her hoo-ha waxed by me for the first time. I couldn’t believe how far it was from Rochester. That got me thinking about the 2 girls from Waterloo and the woman from Weedsport who also came in last week. Just wanted to say an extra thank you to everyone who travels that far to see me. It is very flattering and I promise I will continue to treat your pussies with the love and attention that they truly deserve.

Not a huge fan of the v jay jay, but when a girl has baby freckles on the inside of her lips, I gotta admit, they were kind of cute.

Owning a salon near a university is so much fun except that when the students graduate, many of them leave Rochester. It has been very common, however, for clients to drop by for a wax when they come to town. Face it, who else is able to rip them in 5 minutes?
This week one of my former clients came by with quite an overgrown bush. She told me her man wanted her to try the “natural look.” Believe me, there was nothing natural about it.

A woman told me she went somewhere else for her first Brazilian and it took the technician 60 minutes to wax her and cost $95. I asked her if they gave her a happy ending because there is no excuse for it taking so long. She laughed and said there was nothing happy about the experience. When I commented that I didn’t know which was more obscene, the hour or the money. She said the hour.

It is unbelievable how much hair a woman can grow around her rectum. Since it’s tough to shave, it is often an area that has gone untouched for years, even decades. A new client came in and asked me to remove her cobwebs from her ass. And you know what? That’s exactly what her ass hair looked like.

I had a dream last night that I was walking through a fine dining restaurant when I overheard an older man say “It’s hard to be flippy when you’re floppy.” When he heard me laugh, I told him I thought he was funny and needed to blog what he said.

Wouldn’t it be cool to clone your clean cootch?