Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Thank you to all of the women who share my blog with their men. Yesterday a woman told me she started reading it to her husband, and he actually now reads it himself. It’s great to hear of couples having conversations about pussies. Better communication means better sex. And I also hope that all this networking will help me find a literary agent. Remember, I have an 11 chapter book all about pussies just waiting to be published…

When a girl told me she didn’t need a wax because she didn’t have a boyfriend, my response was simple. It’s like wearing clean underwear in case you’re in an accident. You should always be prepared.

I agree. I wasnt thrilled to do it because of my weight. But you never made me feel uncomfortable and I appreciate that. I am telling everyone about you. You rock!

Some of the mystery? “average size, pleasant looking”… you’re being so adorably humble. But really you should stop beating around the bush (wink, wink) and just tell it like it is: YOU’RE HOT!!!

I think Hallmark should set aside a day to honor the hoo-ha.

Someone came to the salon for a wax and told me right off the bat that she was surprised by what I look like. Although my photo is on the website and on this blog, it is possible that she hadn’t seen either one. For those of you who don’t know what I look like, I am a white woman of unknown descent, average size, pleasant looking I guess, 45 years old, with a big smile and varying hair colors. Hope that takes some of the mystery out of it.

Not only do women have pet names for their puss, they have pet names for getting waxed. One of my girls began referring to her appointments with me as getting her snatch waxed, which is a pretty common expression. Well, that expression evolved. Now when she makes an appointment with me, she and her husband refer to it as “getting her snacks.”

It is very common for a woman’s body to change after having a baby. There can be stretch marks or changes in the size and shape of the breasts. But the baby thing can also change the labia. It is kind of strange when the lips aren’t as taut and youthful as they once were. In fact, one of my client’s loves to piss and moan about her newly transformed mud flaps.

One of my regular clients told me that if she ever farts on me, it’ll be the last time I ever see her.

My parents were really hard workers. They didn’t believe in idle hands. My dad would do bookwork when he watched TV and my mom would cook or do laundry. Being productive was very important to them. So when a Romanian woman told me I gave her the best, most productive wax she has ever gotten, it made me smile. I waxed her legs, arms and Brazilian in 28 minutes and got it all. Yea, it felt productive.