Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A girl skipped her class to come get a wax because her boyfriend told her that her hair was starting to tickle. Can’t have that.

Ever hear of the expression “F.U.P.A.?” Someone used that acronym at the salon and I had never heard of it before. Guess it stands for Fat Upper Pussy Area. Always learning…

New girl came in for a wax before heading to Jamaica for her first ever all inclusive vacation with her boyfriend of 4 years. I asked her if she expected a proposal. She said that he better not, because she knows he won’t get it right. She is convinced that the ring will not fit and she’ll lose it.

Supposed to be an Indian Summer kind of day today. You know you can’t have a hairy snatch on a sunny day. Call me.

Don’t you think the v-j-jay is a playful way to refer to your vagina?

This is too good not to share.

A single woman in her forties that has been a regular at Mark & M.E. for nearly a decade found out a few months ago that one of her best friends had terminal cancer. Within a few weeks she made reservations to fly down South to see her, but the friend died a few days before this woman was scheduled to arrive. She flew down anyways to help the husband with the arrangements. This was the 2ND wife this fifty three year old man had buried as a result of cancer. When my client arrived at their home, she found out that her girlfriend had left her a gift. She had written her husband and my client letters. The letters said that she wanted to give her friend and her husband to one another. She loved her husband and she loved her friend and didn’t want to see either one of them alone and believed they could be very happy together.

My client is moving today.

A lady was complaining about the fact that we even have pubic and rectal hair. Well, I have a theory. Back in cave man days, the folks didn’t wear underwear. They’d squat down by the fire or to gather berries and the hair was there to protect their precious parts. OK, so then why do we still have hair down there since we have evolved into such sophisticated creatures who aren’t squatting by fires bare assed? It’s obvious to me. So Mary Elizabeth can have something to do.

Quote of the week (so far). As I am applying the wax to a woman’s labia she said… “this feels like it’s not going to feel very good.”

About a year or two ago my husband saw an ad in one of our professional magazines for a product to help numb the skin before you wax. He had been talking about creating a product like this for years because waxing can hurt and, in this day and age, it does seem a little barbaric to put ourselves through the torture. Well, although I am sorry that Mark didn’t patent a creme so that we could possibly retire at a younger age, he did discover one that we could sell to those of you who need a little help. It is called “no scream cream.”

A girl came in for a Brazilian. It was her second time. In most cases, the second time is easier and less painful so it allows me to ramble about whatever crazy stuff is in my mind at that moment. Anyways, I asked her what her fiance thought about the whole “bald thing.” She told me that the only thing he was capable of saying was …..”wow.”