Yesterday I got a call from a former client of mine who moved to New Jersey a few month’s ago. She finally got the nerve to get a Brazilian from someone other than me. She called me from the parking lot of the salon because she couldn’t believe how long it took. It took an hour. She said she just had to tell me. During the service she kept looking up in disbelief at how long it was taking and the woman apologized that she was making her sweat and assured her it would be over soon. Not soon enough obviously. Although I feel bad that she had to endure such a long service that, in my mind, should be performed much more efficiently, it was very flattering to have her call me from another salon’s parking lot to tell me she missed me. It’s also kind of funny that a few years ago a different woman also called me from a salon parking lot in New Jersey to tell me a similar story. I think I could make a lot of money in Jersey.
Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha
Thoughts, stories, and insights from M.E. Nesser
I love to hear all of the plans and schemes that women have to show off their new look. Last week a woman was celebrating six years with her man and was going to force him to go down there whether he wanted to or not. She couldn’t wait to see his expression and I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story, which you know I will.
They say you will live longer if you laugh really hard at least once a day. Yesterday three young girls came to the salon. Only one girl was getting waxed. The other two were there for moral support. While she was on the table, one girl sat near her head, the other on the floor. We chatted the whole time. I told them stories. We laughed a lot. But when I had the girl roll on her side to do her butt, the other two girls were laughing so hard that the girl on the floor was actually rolling around.
At this rate, I should live to be 100.
There have been so many inquiries about my poor sleeping habits that I need to set the record straight on the timing of this blog thing. I normally blog between 6-8 in the morning. The times listed next to my daily entries must be Pacific Time even though I’m in New York. This morning, however, I am typing at 4:30 a.m. and it’s the first time that I’ve blogged at this hour.
Two ladies came in together yesterday. They drove in from a small town near Corning. One of them was new to Mark & M.E. and was giving the gift of a Brazilian to her boyfriend for his birthday. But there was an added bonus. For the first time in my career, I had someone videotape the service. The friend had the camera zoomed in the whole time. I suggested they dub music to the service with a song such as “Hurt So Good” but the client wanted her man to hear her yelling and complaining about the pain. It ended up being only a four minute video, because that is how long it took me to complete the service, but I think he’ll enjoy every minute of it.
One of my loyal followers came in on Tuesday and told me she had a blog for me. So here it is. She lives about 45 minutes from the salon so it isn’t the most convenient place to get to. She told me that a few weeks ago she sent her husband grocery shopping. Now, for those of you who have husbands, you know that they always buy random items that aren’t on your list. Well this particular husband spent a great deal of time in the beauty isle where he was excited to find a $9.00 Brazilian Wax kit. Although she appreciated his good intentions, she was pretty confident that anything $9.00 could not be a good thing. The wax was microwaveable, which is dangerous and I don’t recommend. You’d hate to pull a Kardashian. It was a hard wax that had no strips which means it needs to harden before you pull it off. She said that not only was it a hot day, she was nervous and sweating so it wasn’t hardening the way the instructions said. Needless to say, after an hour and a half, only the sides of her bikini line and a little of the top were successfully removed.
I’m worth the drive.
I was telling my son that it blows my mind how many people read this blog on a regular basis. It’s funny because I was never popular growing up. In fact, I didn’t have many friends at all, so it has been so exciting to know that I have the ability to make people smile. I honestly never thought this would be such a hit, which is silly, I guess, since I’m talking about pussies. And what better topic to read about then pussies? But I need more followers to prove to a prospective agent that I’m interesting enough to read. Don’t be scared to follow. It won’t set you up for a mass of nasty porn sent to your email. And if it did, who knows? You may like it. Thanks for reading…for following…and for supporting my quest for the success of the “The Happy Hoo-Ha!”