If your guy isn’t interested in going Down Under to Taste the Forbidden Fruit, maybe a wax is just what the doctor ordered. If he still isn’t interested after you get one, maybe you need another guy.
Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha
Thoughts, stories, and insights from M.E. Nesser
They say you will live longer if you laugh really hard at least once a day. Yesterday three young girls came to the salon. Only one girl was getting waxed. The other two were there for moral support. While she was on the table, one girl sat near her head, the other on the floor. We chatted the whole time. I told them stories. We laughed a lot. But when I had the girl roll on her side to do her butt, the other two girls were laughing so hard that the girl on the floor was actually rolling around.
At this rate, I should live to be 100.
There have been so many inquiries about my poor sleeping habits that I need to set the record straight on the timing of this blog thing. I normally blog between 6-8 in the morning. The times listed next to my daily entries must be Pacific Time even though I’m in New York. This morning, however, I am typing at 4:30 a.m. and it’s the first time that I’ve blogged at this hour.
Two ladies came in together yesterday. They drove in from a small town near Corning. One of them was new to Mark & M.E. and was giving the gift of a Brazilian to her boyfriend for his birthday. But there was an added bonus. For the first time in my career, I had someone videotape the service. The friend had the camera zoomed in the whole time. I suggested they dub music to the service with a song such as “Hurt So Good” but the client wanted her man to hear her yelling and complaining about the pain. It ended up being only a four minute video, because that is how long it took me to complete the service, but I think he’ll enjoy every minute of it.
One of my loyal followers came in on Tuesday and told me she had a blog for me. So here it is. She lives about 45 minutes from the salon so it isn’t the most convenient place to get to. She told me that a few weeks ago she sent her husband grocery shopping. Now, for those of you who have husbands, you know that they always buy random items that aren’t on your list. Well this particular husband spent a great deal of time in the beauty isle where he was excited to find a $9.00 Brazilian Wax kit. Although she appreciated his good intentions, she was pretty confident that anything $9.00 could not be a good thing. The wax was microwaveable, which is dangerous and I don’t recommend. You’d hate to pull a Kardashian. It was a hard wax that had no strips which means it needs to harden before you pull it off. She said that not only was it a hot day, she was nervous and sweating so it wasn’t hardening the way the instructions said. Needless to say, after an hour and a half, only the sides of her bikini line and a little of the top were successfully removed.
I’m worth the drive.
I was telling my son that it blows my mind how many people read this blog on a regular basis. It’s funny because I was never popular growing up. In fact, I didn’t have many friends at all, so it has been so exciting to know that I have the ability to make people smile. I honestly never thought this would be such a hit, which is silly, I guess, since I’m talking about pussies. And what better topic to read about then pussies? But I need more followers to prove to a prospective agent that I’m interesting enough to read. Don’t be scared to follow. It won’t set you up for a mass of nasty porn sent to your email. And if it did, who knows? You may like it. Thanks for reading…for following…and for supporting my quest for the success of the “The Happy Hoo-Ha!”
Sometimes I really can’t believe this is what I do for a living. I spread hot wax on every size, shape and color v-j-jay and rip it off like it’s the enemy (which is kind of how I view pubic hair.) And every woman I touch provides me with a different thought that enriches my day whether it be funny, sad or insightful. So this Sunday morning I would like to send a shout out to all the patrons of Mark & M.E. I am loving every minute of making this town a happier place, one pussy at a time.