Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

There are 2 signs in front of the salon. One says “Home of the 10 Minute Brazilian.” The other says “10 Minute Brazilian.” Both banners have a picture of a sexy pair of crossed legs on them. A husband made the comment that we would get a lot more business if the legs were open.

Dance naked.

You never know when the only dessert he wants….is you.

There have been all sorts of different ways that new clients have found me, but this week there was an original. A woman put an ad on Craigslist asking if anyone knew of a good Brazilian Wax Technician. One man offered to do it for free. Another offered to do it cheaply. But a third person told her about me. In this Internet age, I was totally psyched that not only would someone think to look for a Technician through Craigslist, but that one of my clients would reply by giving her my name. So this is definitely worth the verbal “most original way to find M.E.” award!

For those of you who haven’t met me, I am a fairly excitable person. Positive, happy and new things tend to excite me. I think I’m a child trapped in a 45 year old woman’s body. So yesterday I had several new clients which is always fun. My first one drove to Rochester from Bristol, which is close to an hour away, so that was awesome in itself. She wasn’t feeling the love for Mary Elizabeth as I was doing my thing though. I know the first time can be tough. She mentioned that she had seriously considered getting stoned before she came in to see me. This is my reminder to all you ladies out there that think pot will make it easier; it doesn’t. It lowers your resistance and really makes you respond like a pussy.

eviently Jersey really needs you, but don’t even think about it… because I need you here, in lovely Rochester. =)

When a client comes in and warns me that I have my work cut out for me, sometimes they aren’t kidding. And when she says it looks like an Afro down there, I tend to expect the worse. But when she said her Afro was long enough to Corn Row, I was glad I took my vitamins that morning.

A newlywed told her husband that she had to run some errands and that she would be bald when she got home. His reply? “Thank God.”

There are some silly rumors going around about the legalities of this Brazilian thing. I have been informed that some salons are saying that it is illegal to wax the labia. After 20 years in this business, I’d think I would know if it was against the law. In fact, after how many I have done, I’d probably be sentenced to life without parole. I was also told that some salons are saying that waxing the labia causes infection. As long as you have a clean & conscientious salon and you don’t tear a woman’s skin, then I wouldn’t worry. My thought is that the technicians saying this aren’t comfortable touching your junk. I’m all about it.

You know how the lighting is always better in the car? There are times when you look in the rear view mirror and see long, scary hairs coming out of your moles or strays under your eyebrows that you were certain you had gotten. This is why so many women keep tweezers in their cars, because the abundance of natural light shows it all.

So let’s take this to the next level. One of my girls was driving with her man and he decided to start playing with her puss. So she whips out her junk only to realize that she was sporting quite the hairy bush. It seemed even more nasty with all that natural light shining on it. She told me that was when she called me. She has me on speed dial.