Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Someone who has never met me asked one of my regular clients how a woman with a nun’s name (you know…mary elizabeth) could do this for a living. She told her she didn’t know. All she knew was that I was perfect for the job.

I told you I am doing God’s work.

Sometimes it is the smallest comments that make my day and give me ideas for a blog. Yesterday a woman came in for a wax. It was only her second time. When I asked her how her man responded to it she said, “He couldn’t keep his nose out of it. I mean, literally, he couldn’t keep his nose out of it.”

Let’s talk about gray pubic hair for a minute. Nothing makes you feel older than seeing the color gray between your legs. We have two ways to combat this problem at Mark & M.E. First, my husband would be happy to mix you up some hair color, put it in a Dixie cup and send it home with you. Or, secondly, you can have me rip those fuckers from the root and throw them out!

You’d think after all these years of waxing thousands of pusses that I’d be bored with it and would need to find something else in this business to amuse me. But I’m not. I think it is like the whole snowflake thing; no two are exactly alike.

there is nothing mean and sadistic about what you do. i’m so sincere when i say “thank you, i feel so much better now that i’ve seen you” as i leave.

Next week is Thanksgiving. Give him something to be truly thankful for by trimming your turkey the Mark & M.E. way. Bald.

When someone tells a wax technician they have new hardware, it means a whole different thing.

Please stop apologizing. I’m the one hurting you.

A newlywed told me her husband wanted her to keep a triangle in the front when she got her Brazilian. We call this a Brazini at Mark & M.E. It never matters to me whether or not I leave hair in the front, so I gave her a cute little triangle that I know he’ll adore. She said she was happy doing whatever he requested since he was the king of her jungle.

During a wax, a woman mentions that she just went through a divorce. When asked how things were going, she said it was “less painful than this.”