Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

You’d think after all these years of waxing thousands of pusses that I’d be bored with it and would need to find something else in this business to amuse me. But I’m not. I think it is like the whole snowflake thing; no two are exactly alike.

there is nothing mean and sadistic about what you do. i’m so sincere when i say “thank you, i feel so much better now that i’ve seen you” as i leave.

Next week is Thanksgiving. Give him something to be truly thankful for by trimming your turkey the Mark & M.E. way. Bald.

When someone tells a wax technician they have new hardware, it means a whole different thing.

Please stop apologizing. I’m the one hurting you.

A newlywed told me her husband wanted her to keep a triangle in the front when she got her Brazilian. We call this a Brazini at Mark & M.E. It never matters to me whether or not I leave hair in the front, so I gave her a cute little triangle that I know he’ll adore. She said she was happy doing whatever he requested since he was the king of her jungle.

During a wax, a woman mentions that she just went through a divorce. When asked how things were going, she said it was “less painful than this.”

Check your bush. I’m back tomorrow.

Last week, the contestants on the Biggest Loser trained with the Marines. One of the players was moaning for God’s help. (sound familiar?) The marine told her that God wasn’t going to help her. Their exchange made me laugh.

I think I should have been a Marine.

One of my clients was getting a pedicure at a discount salon that offered Brazilians, so she decided to get one while she was there. The room was sketchy and the sheets on the bed were filthy. The woman took a long time, didn’t get all of the hair, and the next day her skin was rashy and irritated. Hair was left randomly all over the bikini area and our favorite parts weren’t even remotely addressed. My client referred to her experience as a “back alley abortion Brazilian.”