Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I had another urine concern this week. A woman didn’t want to do a full Brazilian because someone told her that removing all of the labia hair will cause your urine to go all over the place. Again, this really doesn’t make sense to me. I like to concentrate on how much cleaner it is to go the bathroom without all of that nasty pubic hair in the way.

Someone told me that ever since I waxed her the first time, her pee comes out sideways. I know that I have some strange and interesting talents, but changing the direction of your urethra isn’t one of them.

Pubic hair does not keep you warm in the winter, so hurry up and bring your hairy hoo-ha’s in to see me.

A woman came in for her first wax and was embarrassed by the amount of hair she had. She told me I’d have to deal with all the buckwheat between her legs. Thought that was an interesting analogy.

The more I got thinking about the Vietnam reference from yesterday, the more bizarre it seemed to me. If you are going to compare your cooter to another country, how about Egypt? There are pyramids in Egypt. They are in the shape of triangles. Comparing your parts to the size or shape of a pyramid…now that makes sense.

There are so many references to an overgrown pussy looking like a jungle or the Amazon, but when a woman said her hairy puss looked like Vietnam, that was a first.

Remember the incredible sexual energy you had as a teen? I think December should be the month where we all rediscover that insatiable lust that used to live in our loins. Can’t think of a better way to combat the stress of the holidays.

One final thought of gratitude on this Thanksgiving weekend. Be thankful if you don’t have any creepy critters carousing in your cooter.

You should also be thankful if you can find your parts.

Be thankful if your parts still work.