Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

For those of you who have been following my blog for awhile, you may remember that I had never heard of the F.U.P.A. expression before. Well, now I have been introduced to another expression. Dicky-do. From what I understand, dicky-do refers to a man who has such a big belly that he cannot see his penis. This reinforces one of the many things I was thankful for over the Thanksgiving weekend. Be thankful if you can find it. You’d hate to have a dicky-do.

I have to agree that the occasional tag-along drip is easier caught when you’re bare.

There is always the ongoing question whether or not a woman should leave her socks on when she takes her pants off. Many women feel very awkward leaving their socks on while they get waxed. It is kind of like leaving them on during sex. For others, especially at this time of the year, it feels a lot more comfortable to keep the piggies covered. And I do have a few women who take their socks half way off. They actually expose their heel and that is what makes them the most comfortable in front of me. Believe me, when your snatch is in my face, I ain’t looking at your feet.

I had another urine concern this week. A woman didn’t want to do a full Brazilian because someone told her that removing all of the labia hair will cause your urine to go all over the place. Again, this really doesn’t make sense to me. I like to concentrate on how much cleaner it is to go the bathroom without all of that nasty pubic hair in the way.

Someone told me that ever since I waxed her the first time, her pee comes out sideways. I know that I have some strange and interesting talents, but changing the direction of your urethra isn’t one of them.

Pubic hair does not keep you warm in the winter, so hurry up and bring your hairy hoo-ha’s in to see me.

A woman came in for her first wax and was embarrassed by the amount of hair she had. She told me I’d have to deal with all the buckwheat between her legs. Thought that was an interesting analogy.

The more I got thinking about the Vietnam reference from yesterday, the more bizarre it seemed to me. If you are going to compare your cooter to another country, how about Egypt? There are pyramids in Egypt. They are in the shape of triangles. Comparing your parts to the size or shape of a pyramid…now that makes sense.

There are so many references to an overgrown pussy looking like a jungle or the Amazon, but when a woman said her hairy puss looked like Vietnam, that was a first.

Remember the incredible sexual energy you had as a teen? I think December should be the month where we all rediscover that insatiable lust that used to live in our loins. Can’t think of a better way to combat the stress of the holidays.