Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Sometimes you hoo-hoo says boo-hoo.

OK ladies, listen up. We really don’t mind if you have your period as long as you have a clean, fresh tampon in. A soiled, brown string from a nasty bowel movement does not constitute a clean, fresh tampon.

I love when women giggle through the entire service.

I forgot the best part of the story from yesterday. My girl had to get on her hands and knees. That’s a comfortable position to get into in front of a stranger. Not.

A lot of salons are doing Brazilians these days and it still blows my mind what people are willing to pay and how long they are willing to lay on the table. Last week I heard about another 45 minute Brazilian nightmare wax that left the girl sore & swollen, still a little hairy, and extremely frustrated. Oh yea, and she paid $40 more than I charge. For those of you who haven’t had a wax with us and think 45 minutes is normal, then you either don’t know it can be done more efficiently, have sadistic tendencies, or really enjoy being naked with another woman. The last option is fine except I can think of a lot more fun things to do naked.

On this wintry Sunday morning, is your man sifting through a forest to enjoy your lady parts or is he is slip, sliding away with comfort and ease to the promise land?

You know what your man really wants for Christmas? A hot & hairfree hoo-ha…a beautifully bald beave…a smooth as silk snatch…a pristine pussy…a luscious lady zone…I think you get my point.

Call me! 585-473-7360

Fuck is a very popular word at Mark & M.E. In fact, it is probably the most common expletive said in our salon. The other day, a woman must have said the word a dozen times and then followed up with an apology. For the record, there is no reason to apologize. I am putting hot wax between your legs and ripping out your precious pubes with a big smile on my face as you squirm in pain. I get the swearing thing. As I was half way through this particular woman’s service, she upgraded her swearing to mother fucker. My reply, awwwww…..now fuck has a mommy.

You tend to be more sensitive when you are ovulating. Great time to make a baby. Not so great time to get ripped.

One of the clients that explained the dicky-do phrase to me came in on Saturday with a birthday card. (my birthday is in may but the card was perfect) The card depicts a man with a huge belly walking a wiener dog on a leash. She wrote dicky-do on the front of the card with an arrow to his belly. Inside, the card read “You’re not old till you look down and can barely see your wiener.”