Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Ok I laughed out loud.

A girl told us that her last wax technician hit on her. No worries. I’m not interested in the puss in that way.

A sixty year old woman made a circle with her thumb and fore finger and whispered to me, “do you wax ass wholes?” Her visual demonstration with her fingers was priceless and it definitely reinforced the area she was referring to. I started to laugh and told her that I wax ass wholes all day long. She didn’t realize that a Brazilian was that thorough and that I spend my days investigating the most private areas of my clients. She needs rectal surgery and would like me to wax that area for her. As you all know, I’m the queen of asses.

One of my regular clients went somewhere else for an eye brow wax. It took the girl close to a half hour and she didn’t have a clue what she was doing. My client said as she was sitting there, all she could think of was that she would have rather been getting a Brazilian than letting this girl do her brows.

About a year ago, a woman brought her little boy in the room while I waxed her. During the service, he started freaking out because he didn’t like the sound of the ripping. It was difficult to finish her because he couldn’t stand the noise and was visibly upset. He still talks about it.

A little boy was waiting in the reception area with his mom and he noticed a lot of women going in and out of the rooms. He asked her if “this place was just for girls.”

Someone told me they couldn’t believe people worried so much about getting their bum waxed because it’s the easiest part. I love old school terminology.

My wife asked me to shave my balls last year, which I did just for kicks. She liked it and I got used to it. A few weeks ago, she asked me to trim my bush but really wanted me to shave it all off. I agreed to trim it (about 3/4″ long) but she keeps asking for me to get rid of all of it. I’m game, but where do I stop? Do I shave my stomach too? I’d get it waxed, but I know I’d get a hard on. Do you wax a lot of straight guys and do they get a hard on? If so, what do you do?

All of the waxing takes place on the 2nd and 3rd floors of our salon. That way, no one can hear any screaming. Yesterday a client came bouncing down the stairs looking very happy after I waxed her. She said that she felt so good after the wax that she just wanted to run around naked.

A girl is hanging out with her boyfriend in a bikini. He sees a string hanging from her bikini bottom. He pulls the string. It’s a tampon.