Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Fur coats are old school.

One of the benefits of what I do for a living is hearing all of the fun sex stories. They can range from funny to gross to thought provoking… Yesterday I heard an interesting one. A girl was engaging in relations in the missionary position. In the midst of her enjoying the experience, she was making the normal, accompanying sounds that one makes when he or she is in the moment. This is when the guy told her to stop making sexual sounds.

There is a reason for the disposable wipes in the bathroom.

There is no reason to be embarrassed and it’s less than 10 minutes of discomfort. So why haven’t you tried it? Have you read yesterday’s blog? Enough said.

Some women hesitate about coming in on a monthly basis because they anticipate the pain and make the decision to put it off as long as possible. The more regular you get it done, however, the less it hurts. And the longer you grow your hair, the more painful it can be. A woman came in on Friday who hadn’t had it done in several months. She had a lot of hair. Last night I got a text message from her saying that she had the GREATEST sex that night. ME happy.

When a wickedly jumpy new girl tells me I better hold down her leg because she was going to kick me in the head, I knew I was in trouble.

I have also been hit on, but the girl wanted my husband there too.

Ok I laughed out loud.

A girl told us that her last wax technician hit on her. No worries. I’m not interested in the puss in that way.

A sixty year old woman made a circle with her thumb and fore finger and whispered to me, “do you wax ass wholes?” Her visual demonstration with her fingers was priceless and it definitely reinforced the area she was referring to. I started to laugh and told her that I wax ass wholes all day long. She didn’t realize that a Brazilian was that thorough and that I spend my days investigating the most private areas of my clients. She needs rectal surgery and would like me to wax that area for her. As you all know, I’m the queen of asses.