Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Never shave down there…Never!

ME is the best at what she does!
I have been remiss in getting a regular brazilian the past few months. But it is time to schedule an appointment and get bald again. Cannot explain to anyone who has never had one, but it is liberating. I do feel different when I leave – free, confident, clean, sexy, just to name a few. See you in 2 weeks ME! I’m trying to convert a friend.

A regular client of mine confessed that her man wanted to shave her. She told me she was really nervous when he was down there with a razor so she kept her eyes closed. It didn’t go well so he didn’t shave her completely bald. The parts he did shave got irritated and she regretted letting him near her with the razor. This is when she told her man that she would never cheat on him and she would never cheat on Mary Elizabeth again either.

I waxed a college girl’s eyebrows who was going on a first date with a really hot guy. As she was leaving, I told her that if she came back for a Brazilian, I knew the date went well. She told me that she purposely did not get a Brazilian because she wanted to behave on the first date. We understand.

The more I think about this whole vagazzling thing, the more apprehensive I feel about putting glue anywhere near my girl.

The Urban Dictionary’s definition of vagazzling is the act of bedazzling your vagina or blinging your beaver. A sparkly snatch? I like it.

I have worked diligently to perfect the art of story telling to keep my clients distracted while I wax their cootch. I like to ask questions and while the client is answering, I will rip off a good one. As I was waxing a new client, she was surprised how efficient and funny I was. She quickly figured out my strategy of ripping while she was talking. It really is a system that has worked well for me over the years. About half way through the service (about 3 minutes into the wax) she referred to my style as a “sneak attack Brazilian.”

I understand that it can be difficult to justify a monthly wax when you are on a budget. One of our clients needed a haircut desperately and really wanted a Brazilian so she asked her husband if it was at all possible for her to have both done on the same day. He told her he would start having only two meals a day so they could afford both.

I’m on the same quest but different direction (or is it the other way around). I’ll push your pussy forward if you push my tale forward. DEAL? got it? GOOD!

greenmonkeytales.com

Women who carry wipes in their purses are my heroes.