Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I waxed a college girl’s eyebrows who was going on a first date with a really hot guy. As she was leaving, I told her that if she came back for a Brazilian, I knew the date went well. She told me that she purposely did not get a Brazilian because she wanted to behave on the first date. We understand.

The more I think about this whole vagazzling thing, the more apprehensive I feel about putting glue anywhere near my girl.

The Urban Dictionary’s definition of vagazzling is the act of bedazzling your vagina or blinging your beaver. A sparkly snatch? I like it.

I have worked diligently to perfect the art of story telling to keep my clients distracted while I wax their cootch. I like to ask questions and while the client is answering, I will rip off a good one. As I was waxing a new client, she was surprised how efficient and funny I was. She quickly figured out my strategy of ripping while she was talking. It really is a system that has worked well for me over the years. About half way through the service (about 3 minutes into the wax) she referred to my style as a “sneak attack Brazilian.”

I understand that it can be difficult to justify a monthly wax when you are on a budget. One of our clients needed a haircut desperately and really wanted a Brazilian so she asked her husband if it was at all possible for her to have both done on the same day. He told her he would start having only two meals a day so they could afford both.

I’m on the same quest but different direction (or is it the other way around). I’ll push your pussy forward if you push my tale forward. DEAL? got it? GOOD!

greenmonkeytales.com

Women who carry wipes in their purses are my heroes.

A psychologist would have a ball examining the behavior of women when they are put in an awkward and potentially painful situation such as getting a Brazilian wax. I wonder what it means when a girl asks us to hang on a second while she sits up and has a conversation and subsequently a pep-talk with her cootch before we finish the service.

When a guy comes into the room with his lady for her wax, sits back, and cracks open a beer, you gotta wonder.

The puss is fascinating and magical. It’s mere existence should be celebrated and cherished. This is why I need your help getting my manuscript published. It’s current working title is “The Happy Hoo-Ha.” And isn’t that what is really important, keeping the hoo-ha happy? In order to get my work recognized, I need to prove I have a large following of dedicated pussy lovers who want to be reminded of its power on a daily basis through this blog and want to read an in depth novel that is guaranteed to make you laugh, cry and even cringe a little. Science has proven that a good belly laugh every day will make you live longer, and I promise to provide you with enough stories to help you live a long, healthy life. So on this cold, frigid day, spend some extra time worshipping the beautiful entity that makes life possible and help me succeed in my quest to make the puss even more powerful by becoming a follower of this blog and telling everyone you know to do the same.