Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

When you are getting any area waxed, please be advised that the area is sticky and it’s not a good idea to touch the area until after I have finished and you have properly cleaned up. I had a girl that wouldn’t stop putting her hand on her hoo-ha while I was working on her. Her hand got all sticky but she just kept touching it. She said she was sorry but she “couldn’t stop playing with it.” She continued by saying that “I know he won’t be able to stop playing with it either!”

And, as a side note, this is my 300Th blog. Holy shit, I cannot believe I had 300 consecutive things to say! Yea, right.

I have clients that make their appointments via email now and, due to the nature of the service, the emails tend to be funny. The other day a girl asked for a specific day but said as far as the time was concerned, she was flexible: no pun intended.

It should be obvious by now that I am a huge fan of the no hair thing. And it seems I am not alone. Not only do women get it all waxed for a more liberating feeling and to enhance their sex life, they also get it done so they don’t have a hairy ass when they get a colonoscopy.

A guy told his girl she had fat lips. She asked him if he meant PHAT or FAT? He said FAT. Her feelings were obviously hurt and she commented that there was more cushion for the pushing. I thought that was a cute response but my first reaction would have been to slap this dude up side the head. Trust me, if a guy ever criticized my v-j-jay, the only thing he’d be pushing against would be his right hand.

On the ride to the salon, two newbies were talking about how worried they were that they might pee on the table because they were so nervous. They told me about their conversation and when the second girl was getting waxed, she said it hurt so bad that she really was nervous that she would pee on the table. If they are worried about that now, wait until they have a couple kids.

Happy to say, I did not come in contact with any bodily fluids.

Some of my Hispanic ladies have such fire in their responses. There have been times when they are by far the most entertaining. I think they actually may have hot salsa in their sensations.

For the most part, my chocolate girls are much more demonstrative than their vanilla counterparts.

Some people lack consideration and don’t even shower the same day they come in for a wax. Other’s go above and beyond the considerate factor. I have women who actually cut their strings before they come in so the strings aren’t in the way.

In case you were wondering….it seems to be popular these days for women to leave a triangle in front instead of a landing strip and go commando down below. I’ve had a lot more requests for this look lately. Must be the current trend in porn. We call it a Brazini at Mark & M.E.

When the girl from yesterday told her man that she would never cheat on me again, I have to admit that I was pleased. Shaving is evil and I am determined to spread the word on the best way to achieve a beautifully groomed beave. But I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you my response to her after she swore such loyalty to me. I told her to tell her man that her pussy was mine. He could play with it, but everything else that happened down there was my business.