Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

For fifty dollar, I can make you holler.

Got another funny email from a client who hadn’t been in for close to 2 months. She wrote that her pretty panties didn’t deserve her hairy cootch. She still hasn’t made it in which must mean she is still wearing her period panties.

A woman hadn’t been in since October. She told me her snatch looked like a small rat. It did.

Guys don’t like to floss when they eat.

I don’t get nervous when a woman goes a really long time between waxes. In fact, the descriptions of their lady parts tend to be funny. A woman emailed me for an appointment and was disgusted by how hairy she was. She said she had a jungle where there should be a beach.

I asked a woman how she knew her husband was “the one.” She said when they realized they had an attraction to one another, he said that he couldn’t imagine a relationship without oral sex. They have been together for over a decade and she has never been bald. Now she is. I can only imagine how happy he must be.

Everyone’s vagina is unique. It is this wondrous entity that lives, breathes, feels pleasure and also feels pain. And everyone’s relationship with their vagina is unique as well. If a woman tells me that her cootchy is crying, then I suppose that it is.

When you are getting any area waxed, please be advised that the area is sticky and it’s not a good idea to touch the area until after I have finished and you have properly cleaned up. I had a girl that wouldn’t stop putting her hand on her hoo-ha while I was working on her. Her hand got all sticky but she just kept touching it. She said she was sorry but she “couldn’t stop playing with it.” She continued by saying that “I know he won’t be able to stop playing with it either!”

And, as a side note, this is my 300Th blog. Holy shit, I cannot believe I had 300 consecutive things to say! Yea, right.

I have clients that make their appointments via email now and, due to the nature of the service, the emails tend to be funny. The other day a girl asked for a specific day but said as far as the time was concerned, she was flexible: no pun intended.

It should be obvious by now that I am a huge fan of the no hair thing. And it seems I am not alone. Not only do women get it all waxed for a more liberating feeling and to enhance their sex life, they also get it done so they don’t have a hairy ass when they get a colonoscopy.