Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

When I go for a yearly exam, I expect to put my feet in those embarrassing little holders, but I never liked that position of submission. I don’t care how inflexible, overweight or hairy you may be. I will never use stirrups.

A girl told me she was sweating like she was on an airplane. Good news. This flight only takes 4-7 minutes.

Did you know that today was Steak & Blow Job day? Apparently, if your man did a good job on Valentine’s Day, then on March 14Th, which would be one month later, you are supposed to reciprocate with his favorite things. Always learning.

A girl came in and said she had a massive nest down below. She wasn’t joking. It was pretty massive. Happy to say nothing creepy was living in the nest.

A guy wanted to leave a hickey on his girl’s upper thigh to see what kind of reaction I would have. Dude, nothing shocks me. I’ve heard thousands of women’s perverted stories. It’s all good.

Fast and furious? Yep.

New girl comes in. First time. Thought it was painful. Swore like a trucker. But it was still all good. As she was leaving, she told Mark & I that she was so excited about her Brazilian that she was going to find some one’s face to sit on.

Californication is a funny and racy series on Showtime. It’s pretty raunchy which is probably why I find it so amusing. There is a waxologist (not really a word but that’s what they call her) on the show that waxes celebrity’s pussies. On the last episode, they show her pitching to start a series of her own about what she does for a living. I think it is a great idea. Women have all sorts of drama and who wouldn’t want to watch a show that focuses on pussies? This is where I need your help. My manuscript entitled “The Happy Hoo-Ha” is complete. All I need is someone to represent me and help me get it published. In this day of Internet networking, there has to be someone out there who knows someone who will think I am a tad bit interesting and funny. You have to admit that what I do for a living is pretty unique. Think of all the stories you have read to date. And there is so much more. So please spread the word. Women say crazy shit to me while they spread their legs. I have faith in my followers. Remember what my quest in life is….to celebrate the perfectly primped pussy.

I think getting a Brazilian can help a gal not only feel lucky, but get lucky. When a really neat thirty year old woman complains of being single but keeps up with her grooming just in case, you have to wish her luck and hope that Mr. Wonderful comes knocking at her door. So that is exactly what I did. I wished her luck in her endeavor to find someone special. That is when she told me I was her Brazilian Fortune Cookie.

Period undies…wax undies…how about no undies at all?