Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

New girl comes in. First time. Thought it was painful. Swore like a trucker. But it was still all good. As she was leaving, she told Mark & I that she was so excited about her Brazilian that she was going to find some one’s face to sit on.

Californication is a funny and racy series on Showtime. It’s pretty raunchy which is probably why I find it so amusing. There is a waxologist (not really a word but that’s what they call her) on the show that waxes celebrity’s pussies. On the last episode, they show her pitching to start a series of her own about what she does for a living. I think it is a great idea. Women have all sorts of drama and who wouldn’t want to watch a show that focuses on pussies? This is where I need your help. My manuscript entitled “The Happy Hoo-Ha” is complete. All I need is someone to represent me and help me get it published. In this day of Internet networking, there has to be someone out there who knows someone who will think I am a tad bit interesting and funny. You have to admit that what I do for a living is pretty unique. Think of all the stories you have read to date. And there is so much more. So please spread the word. Women say crazy shit to me while they spread their legs. I have faith in my followers. Remember what my quest in life is….to celebrate the perfectly primped pussy.

I think getting a Brazilian can help a gal not only feel lucky, but get lucky. When a really neat thirty year old woman complains of being single but keeps up with her grooming just in case, you have to wish her luck and hope that Mr. Wonderful comes knocking at her door. So that is exactly what I did. I wished her luck in her endeavor to find someone special. That is when she told me I was her Brazilian Fortune Cookie.

Period undies…wax undies…how about no undies at all?

LIKE!

Seems to me I heard this somewhere recently…..hhhhmm

Since I am very efficient and run on schedule, a lot of my clients come on their lunch hour to get waxed. It is funny how many women tell their jobs they are going to the dentist during that time. Wouldn’t an appointment with the gyno make more sense?

When you wax, your hair tends to come in finer and thinner and, for some women, bald spots form where no hair grows any more. It is much more common for the hair to stop growing on the front of the pubic area. One of my clients started hooking up with a guy who wanted her to grow her hair back in the front. The problem is that her hair stopped growing there a long time ago. I’m not sure if her hair is afraid of me or what, but there is no way she will ever grow more than a few strays. Her 70’s porn star days are definitely over. So this guy asked her if it was possible to get a toupee? A toupee for the twat. Interesting.

A guy came in for his first ever back wax. He had three friends with him for moral support, but that didn’t seem to ease his anxiety. He really didn’t want to take his shirt off. Unfortunately, I can’t wax a back with a shirt on so I needed to encourage him to remove it. When he got on the table, he told me he was as nervous as a dog at a Chinese restaurant.

It’s easier than childbirth.