Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

When someone says “I don’t want to play anymore” over and over and over again, I’m thinking I should probably stop?

Black girls are prone to nasty hair bumps which is why they shouldn’t shave. One of my regulars was on vacation and didn’t wax before she left. While away, she met a man and needed to groom her girl, so she found a random place to get a wax. We aren’t exactly sure what the tech did wrong, but my client broke out in a bumpy, rashy mess. She was so freaked out that when she got home, she called a clinic and got checked for an STD. The bumps were nothing but pissed off skin from an inexperienced wax tech. Now her puss is back in my care and we are working on getting it pretty again.

No matter what size you are, your pussy never gets that big. So it really doesn’t matter to me one way or another if you are a size 2 or a size 22. A lady came in and said she had wanted to wax for over a year and a half but was waiting until she lost some weight before she got it done. After a year had passed and she didn’t lose one pound she told me she just decided “fuck it, I’m getting this done anyways.” Now that’s the right attitude.

People say the weirdest shit when they are on the table. A woman told me she really wanted to knit. I was confused. She said that she had her knitting in her purse and that is what she wanted to do instead of finishing the wax. The knitting had to wait. I always finish.

When I go for a yearly exam, I expect to put my feet in those embarrassing little holders, but I never liked that position of submission. I don’t care how inflexible, overweight or hairy you may be. I will never use stirrups.

A girl told me she was sweating like she was on an airplane. Good news. This flight only takes 4-7 minutes.

Did you know that today was Steak & Blow Job day? Apparently, if your man did a good job on Valentine’s Day, then on March 14Th, which would be one month later, you are supposed to reciprocate with his favorite things. Always learning.

A girl came in and said she had a massive nest down below. She wasn’t joking. It was pretty massive. Happy to say nothing creepy was living in the nest.

A guy wanted to leave a hickey on his girl’s upper thigh to see what kind of reaction I would have. Dude, nothing shocks me. I’ve heard thousands of women’s perverted stories. It’s all good.

Fast and furious? Yep.