Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I know the hoo-ha can generate some heat when I wax it, but if you want someone to blow on it during the service, you’ll have to bring in a friend to blow on you. I’m not doing it.

I have a girl that normally squirms and screams during a wax. OK, maybe I have more than one girl. Anyways, the Brazilian service is always an adventure with her. When she came in the last time, she told me she had a glass of wine before she came in. Although I don’t encourage alcohol consumption prior to a wax, she seemed much calmer than usual. As she was getting on the table, her phone rang. I told her to take the call. I have had plenty of women conduct phone business while I rip them. She talked to a friend on the phone during the entire service and was very composed while I did my thing. She decided that, from now on, wine and phone were the two key prerequisites to enduring the wax.

Although I have become known for my Brazilian prowess, I also do excellent eyebrows. I actually have been waxing brows a lot longer than the beave. Now that I am in my mid 40’s, however, it is necessary that I wear reading glasses in order to perfectly sculpt your brows. Recently one of my clients asked me if she should worry that I come at her crotch with my scary needle nose tweezers in order to remove her stubborn ingrowns without my glasses on since I do put them on in order to wax her brows? I don’t seem to have a problem removing the ingrown hairs and, frankly, I really don’t want to be able to see your crotch that clearly.

Spring is officially here. The time for hibernating your hoo-ha is over.

I can always tell if you have shaved in between waxes. It’s obvious by how coarse the hair comes in and how aggravated the skin gets. The problem is that the whole waxing service hurts a lot more when you shave in between. A girl was complaining that it really hurt yesterday. I told her she shouldn’t have shaved. She said her hair had been growing in so fine and soft like baby bird hair that she didn’t think it would matter if she shaved just a few times. But it obviously did matter by the way she was squirming around. I told her that the razor turned her fine and soft baby bird hair into big bird hair.

It is unbelievable all of the cheerleaders that I do at Mark & M.E. Well, not official NBA or NFL cheerleaders, but women who cheer when I tell them to roll on their sides so I can wax their ass.

This is too funny

Women often go a lot longer between waxes in the winter. A girl came in the other day and told me it was time to get rid of her winter coat. It was time. Days of wearing animal are so gone.

Even if you don’t have a guy, it’s nice to be bald. A brazilian can give you a free, clean and empowering feeling. You just never seem to feel clean enough when there is an untamed forest down below. Sometimes hair can just make you feel like a dirty girl. And, even though we are all about being a dirty girl, we don’t mean it in that way.

good to know!