Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

@Lindasy… I said the exact. same. thing. GROSSSSS!

It can be scary going to a new place knowing that you are exposing your most intimate parts to a stranger. And, to make it worse, the service is going to involve a little discomfort. A new client was a few minutes late for her appointment because she drove by the salon and had to turn around. She called to let us know she would be a couple minutes late and I assured her that it wasn’t a big deal. When she walked into the salon, she was visibly harried and nervous. I asked her if she needed the restroom. She said that was probably a good idea. She told me that she was so nervous, she needed to throw up first.

Isn’t it incredible how much power the pussy has?

Oh. My. God.

It’s really tough to give a good wax job with your man’s baby butter all over the place. And frankly, it’s fucking gross.

So I guess you didn’t read my helpful hint page on my website. Getting high did not make it easier. It made you a weenie.

A lot of my clients use cute little sayings to refer to their private area and also have secret personal codes that they use with their loved one’s when they talk about coming to see me. One of my clients always tells her husband that she is going to H.O.P. Acronyms are often used but at first I couldn’t figure out the connection between the v-j-jay and pancakes. She wasn’t referring to the restaurant. She was referring to the House of Pain.

I dare ya.

It exists! It is called a merkin!

When women move to a new city, it can be stressful finding a new salon, especially one that can do a good Brazilian wax. I told a woman that had just moved to the area that she called the right place. Not only do I have many years of experience, the average Brazilian only takes me 4-7 minutes. When I met her, she told me that she was shocked by how fast I said I could do a Brazilian. All of her experiences had taken much longer. She told her boyfriend what I said about the time frame. She also told him that she didn’t know if she should be excited and impressed or seriously frightened.