Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A client told me that it wasn’t very ladylike to lie on her side while I waxed the crack of her ass. I told her that it wasn’t ladylike to have a hairy ass.

When a woman walks into the room and says “get ready for Woodstock,” I’m instantly wishing I had something to light up to prepare myself.

I am very passionate in my desire to avoid contact with your man’s baby butter. It is obvious that some guys have really bad aim. So no matter how well you shoot, wait until the day after the wax to play Russian Roulette.

I waxed over 100 women last week. It was crazy fun. But then I found out that if I was working in Upper Manhattan, I would be able to charge 300 per Brazilan. That is insane! I have to move.

This week was “let’s hang onto to M.E.’s arm while she rips me” week. Just a little dribble of advice; it works better when I can use both arms.

Welcome to the start of my 2ND year of Hosing Down Your Hoo-ha. I have a scattered brain so you never know what you’ll get from me. Sometimes my goal will be to make you laugh, because, face it, I have a funny job. There are times that it will be necessary to gross you out. When I come across an undesirable pussy, there is no way I am going to suffer alone. And every once in awhile I hope to shock you just a little bit. Because, in case you haven’t noticed, women can be down right nasty.

Today mark’s the 1 year anniversary of Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha. I never thought that I would find 365 consecutive things to say about pussies. And, not only have I had a blast recounting my experiences to you over the past year, I have so much more to share. My goal with this blog was to find representation so I can get my book called “The Happy Hoo-Ha” published. And I still have faith in my followers that someone will be able to help me out with this endeavor. The book is funny and racy and, since it is obvious that each and every one of you are fans of the puss, then please help me out. I won’t disappoint you. Until then, I will try to keep you amused with all the crazy shit that people do and say when they are naked from the waist down and are having hot waxed spread on their snatch.

No one leaves Mark & M.E. with a hairy ass. So if you think you are getting off my table without rolling on your side and letting me stick a Popsicle stick between your butt cheeks, you are sorely mistaken.

A girl told her boyfriend she was going to see one of only three people that get to see her v-j-jay. I’m honored and he was psyched.

No kidding! I hate it when massage therapists think they need to leave while I change….and then you are laying there waiting for them to come back for what feels like ages. I guess some people are really slow when it comes to taking their clothes off…