Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

One of the annoying aspects of waxing is that your skin is sticky when I finish. Fortunately, the oil we use to remove the sticky residue takes it off quickly. While one of my clients was lying on the table, she commented on how her lips felt like they were sealed shut. She said her parents would have loved it if her lips were stuck together like this when she was a teenager.

Time to spring clean your snatch.

Just call me Queen of the Jungle.

A girl told me she has been telling all of her friends how much better it is to wax and what a great job I do. That really means a lot to me and I can’t thank everyone enough for the referrals. After I finished waxing her, I thanked her for telling people about me and told her to remember to “spread the word, not your legs.” Then I thought about what I said and what I just did to her so I had to amend my statement. “OK, maybe spread your legs too.”

I love it when I end up on other people’s Facebook pages. A newbie wrote that she went to Mark & M.E. and got a Brazilian for the first time. She said it was the most amazing thing and she was so excited because I even did her ass crack! Now she understands why one of our motto’s is that “no one leaves Mark & M.E. with a hairy ass.”

I’ve written in the past about the women who let themselves get really hairy so they won’t have sex. Everybody seems to have their own expression when they are referring to their intentional hair growth. A girl informed me that she skipped a month from waxing because she needed a man shield. All I can say is if I was a guy, the shield would have worked.

If your dude has the nerve to call you a Sasquatch, I say we put a little hot wax on his member and see how well he tolerates it. He may prefer you bald, but he better be nice about it.

Although I am able to wax a woman in less than 10 minutes, I rarely feel like I am rushing. After all these years, I am just incredibly efficient. Besides, it is a very sensitive area and I would never want to jeopardize pissing it off any more than I have too. But there are times when I get really busy and there will be two or three women in my waiting area. There was a point on Saturday that I got really busy and when I walked out of one of the treatment rooms, a client told me she was next on my pussy assembly line.

When a woman is used to getting waxed every four weeks, and extra week or two can be very annoying to her. One of my girl’s told me to be careful because there was an animal back there, but not to worry, because at least it wouldn’t growl at me. Believe me, I am so done with noises that come from back there.

Obviously I am the biggest fan of the bald puss, but I totally understand how women can feel dirty and less sexy when the hair is growing back. We need to get over it. You have to let some hair grow back in order to get a good wax. And, let’s be honest, guys don’t really care as long as they are getting some.