Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A woman in her 40’s lost close to 100 pounds. Her mother told her she should celebrate by doing something that made her feel sexy. When she mentioned the conversation to a friend, her friend suggested she drive to Rochester and get a wax by me. Even though she had never been waxed and had to drive an hour and a half, she made it to the salon. Now she is “too sexy for her snatch.”

Need a gift idea for your man’s birthday? Put a bow on your bald beave. Trust me, it’s a hit every time.

If you have hairs that are stuck to the skin and stubborn to remove, it can be helpful to use an exfoliating scrub in the shower before your wax. We even sell a water based scrub made especially for the puss that won’t clog the pores. I’d like to suggest that clients use it on their backside as well. Cleaning up that area a little better would make me a very happy camper.

I think I could have made a killing in the 1970’s since the natural look seemed to be the trend. I love R&B music, the crazy clothes and all the big, funky Afro’s, so I know I would have fit right in. And it could have been an interesting time to introduce Brazilians to society even though it would have been a lot more difficult service to perform. I definitely would have needed scissors or clippers to pave the way to the promised land. So when a client walks into the wax room and tells me to be prepared because Soul Train is coming, I know I have my work cut out for me.

I asked a woman what she was doing for dinner. She said she was making tacos. She continued by saying that since she was getting a Brazilian, she guessed her husband would be eating tacos twice that day.

Some women just grow more hair than others. And when certain women walk into the room that I know I haven’t seen in a long time, I know that I need to get mentally prepared for a good work out. But when a black woman with a large Afro on her head walks into the room and says she could put dreads in her hootch because it was so long, I was ready to run for the hills.

Since the first day of summer was this week, I had several of my seasonal wax clients come in. Many do nothing in the winter. I suppose they like the hair to keep them warm. Problem for me is that sometimes I simply cannot find it.

It is becoming very popular to leave a triangle on the front of the pubic area and wax everything else. Women feel less childlike and men seem to think it’s more sexy. I was given the request by a man to leave a decent size triangle in front of his woman and remove all of the hair from the spot where God split her.

A husband told his wife he needed a magnifying glass and a walking stick to wade through her bush in order to find the buried treasure.

Women are very critical about their bodies. They often apologize for being fat, hairy, inflexible, flabby, sweaty….you name it. Even though a Brazilian refers to removing all of the pubic and rectal hair, many women choose to leave some in the front. I had a very slender, flat chested woman tell me that she didn’t want to be completely bald. She said that since her boobs look like she is ten years old, she didn’t want to look ten years old down there as well.