Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

One of my guys called me and asked if I was in the mood to torture a 40 year old man. Silly question.

I got a funny response to my piercing blog yesterday. A 30 year old woman was having an x-ray and her mother was in the room with her. The mom wanted to know if there was a button on her underwear.

When I was a teen, I had to sneak it when I started shaving because my mom thought I was too young. She figured it out quickly enough by the blood all over the bathroom. Nowadays, kids shave or wax everything. Not only do parents know, some drive them to their appointments to see me. But when one of my girls admitted to showing her mom her genital piercing, even I was surprised. That is one thing I could never show my momma.

Someone went elsewhere and got a Brazilian that took 2 hours. I don’t get it. Nobody’s puss is that big. Anyways, she said it was like a really bad one night stand with regret and everything.

An ugly bikini line can be very frustrating and a woman will try anything to help with the rash and bumps that accompany shaving. I have heard of women using rubbing alcohol, cortisone, astringent, oil, powder. Recently, I heard of a new one. One of my clients even tried Proactive on her puss.

A woman needed to get waxed before the 4Th of July. She said she was walking in the parade and needed the road cleared and paved for the festivities in the event she found an Uncle Sam who wanted her.

Went to a crazy bachelorette party last night and there was a male stripper that came to the house. He had an incredible body and put on an awesome show. The best part about this guy was that, aside from the hair on his head and a baby landing strip, he was hairless.

I finally saw the movie The Bucket List. I never heard of that expression prior to the movie and I didn’t realize people had such lists of things they wanted to do before they died. When a woman told me that getting a Brazilian was on her bucket list, I felt honored to be part of such a monumental occasion.

A woman posted on her facebook wall…I’m excited to see Mary Elizabeth in the morning. There is no better way to start your day than with a cup of coffee and searing, ripping, self inflicting pain. Isn’t that sweet?

Face it. We are a generation of women with some hot pusses. Men just can’t get enough of us. And it can be difficult to break up with them when they keep hounding us like dogs. In fact, our liberated sexuality makes them want every part of us. So I was not surprised when a client told me her ex was all over her ass to get back in…literally.