Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Went to a crazy bachelorette party last night and there was a male stripper that came to the house. He had an incredible body and put on an awesome show. The best part about this guy was that, aside from the hair on his head and a baby landing strip, he was hairless.

I finally saw the movie The Bucket List. I never heard of that expression prior to the movie and I didn’t realize people had such lists of things they wanted to do before they died. When a woman told me that getting a Brazilian was on her bucket list, I felt honored to be part of such a monumental occasion.

A woman posted on her facebook wall…I’m excited to see Mary Elizabeth in the morning. There is no better way to start your day than with a cup of coffee and searing, ripping, self inflicting pain. Isn’t that sweet?

Face it. We are a generation of women with some hot pusses. Men just can’t get enough of us. And it can be difficult to break up with them when they keep hounding us like dogs. In fact, our liberated sexuality makes them want every part of us. So I was not surprised when a client told me her ex was all over her ass to get back in…literally.

A woman in her 40’s lost close to 100 pounds. Her mother told her she should celebrate by doing something that made her feel sexy. When she mentioned the conversation to a friend, her friend suggested she drive to Rochester and get a wax by me. Even though she had never been waxed and had to drive an hour and a half, she made it to the salon. Now she is “too sexy for her snatch.”

Need a gift idea for your man’s birthday? Put a bow on your bald beave. Trust me, it’s a hit every time.

If you have hairs that are stuck to the skin and stubborn to remove, it can be helpful to use an exfoliating scrub in the shower before your wax. We even sell a water based scrub made especially for the puss that won’t clog the pores. I’d like to suggest that clients use it on their backside as well. Cleaning up that area a little better would make me a very happy camper.

I think I could have made a killing in the 1970’s since the natural look seemed to be the trend. I love R&B music, the crazy clothes and all the big, funky Afro’s, so I know I would have fit right in. And it could have been an interesting time to introduce Brazilians to society even though it would have been a lot more difficult service to perform. I definitely would have needed scissors or clippers to pave the way to the promised land. So when a client walks into the wax room and tells me to be prepared because Soul Train is coming, I know I have my work cut out for me.

I asked a woman what she was doing for dinner. She said she was making tacos. She continued by saying that since she was getting a Brazilian, she guessed her husband would be eating tacos twice that day.

Some women just grow more hair than others. And when certain women walk into the room that I know I haven’t seen in a long time, I know that I need to get mentally prepared for a good work out. But when a black woman with a large Afro on her head walks into the room and says she could put dreads in her hootch because it was so long, I was ready to run for the hills.