Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A woman told me she was going to have to buy a good lawnmower because her lawn was so overgrown. She continued by saying that she decided to come see me instead because she needed a good landscaper.

A client told me she liked getting waxed, because it’s better to lick the kitty when the kitty is clean.

Getting a Brazilian should be the woman’s idea. Generally, if a woman only does it for a man, she won’t keep it up. However, when a man “respectfully requests” that she go bald so he can really enjoy it, it’s hard to say no.

There are disposable wipes in the restroom for a reason. Even though I use a new stick every time down there, gunk in the creases is not OK.

Because I approach waxing with such intensity and enthusiasm, a girl told me she was ready for me to “hulk her hootch.”

A woman walked into the room and told me to be prepared because a cave man was coming to see me. Although she wasn’t kidding, I was glad it was a cave woman I was waxing, and not a man.

When the LPGA came to town, one of the professional golfers from Europe came to see me. I was so flattered when she said that she has been waxed all over the world, and I gave her the best wax she had ever had. She did not fit my stereotype of a golfer, however. Not only was she incredibly physically fit, she wanted to be waxed because her male trainer was so hot.

Never underestimate the power of the pussy.

A girl picked up a dude, took him back to her place, then hid in the bathroom to shave quick cuz she wasn’t prepared. Shaving can be dangerous, especially when you are drunk. She ends up cutting herself and it takes awhile to get the bleeding under control. When she came of the bathroom, he was passed out. She texted her friend and said “I cut my labia for this!”

If a kid in beauty school wants to experiment waxing your puss and she has never taken a class, think again. A cosmetology student wanted to try different techniques on one of my clients. When she came at her with a scissors, she accidentally cut her skin, the girl needed antibiotics, and now she has a scar.