Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A woman told me that her husband was considering getting a “manzilian.” I told her that he shouldn’t bother. Most men can’t take it and they rarely do it twice. Sorry fellas, it’s the truth.

It doesn’t take a Rocket Scientist to figure out that it is more fun when there is nothing in your way.

Some people think we should just go with the natural look the way God intended. A client told me that God wouldn’t have let us figure out how to make wax if he wanted us hairy.

I asked a girl if she was going out since it was a Friday night. She said she was staying home to nurse her vagina.

I have become very popular with the runners in Rochester. Why, you may ask? Because shaving causes irritation. Leaving it hairy causes irritation. Basically what I have learned is that you can run faster when you don’t have blisters on our beave.

This is perfect since it’s Sunday. A woman came in and said, “Mary Elizabeth, I have a Catholic Confession to make. It has been 2 months since my last Brazilian.”

A Brazilian refers to the removal of all of the pubic and rectal hair. And I have a strict policy that no one leaves Mark & M.E. with ass hair. My goal is to wax every square inch, every time. I know that can be a scary thought, but that part of the body really doesn’t hurt to get waxed. I couldn’t help but laugh, however, when a girl told me her shit hole was scared.

When a grown woman “fluffs” through the entire wax and apologizes for “fluffing” and says she is embarrassed that she keeps “fluffing” and says she can’t stop “fluffing,” I have to admit that I wasn’t grossed out or even shocked. I just couldn’t stop laughing.

Gotta love the expression on a man’s face when he discovers that his woman has gotten her first Brazilian. Better than Christmas.

There are so many fun and wonderful names for the female anatomy that sometimes I just can’t decide which one I like the best. I had a husband come with his wife to one of her waxing appointments. The next time, when she came by herself, she said that her husband was interested in what I called her lady parts that day. You never know.