Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Pretty panties aren’t that pretty with prickly pubes or a plush pasture peeking out of them.

A girl told her boyfriend she was going to see her “Pussy Pal.” I guess, in a very strange way, I am a very good friend to the pussy.

If you can endure just a few minutes of pain, there is the potential for you to enjoy endless hours of pleasure.

Women have all sorts of cute ways of telling their men they are coming to see me. One of my clients told her boyfriend she was off to see Jack the Ripper. It only took a second for a huge smile to form on his face.

The scenario with the man from yesterday continues. As I got closer to the shaft of his penis, he really started losing his composure. That is when he growled at me in that same demonic voice and said, “did you rip my cock off?” That is when I flicked his flaccid penis with my finger like I was flicking a fly off the skin and said, “nope, it’s still there.”

A man dared his wife’s friend to get a Brazilian. He told her if she did it, so would he. He didn’t tolerate the wax very well. He was sweating, yelling and squirming all over the place. At one point during the service, he lifted his head up and in the most demonic voice said to me, “do…you…hate…men?!?!”

At some point, I am going to make a career change. With your help, I hope to change from being a ripper to being a writer.

I know it must be weird to go into a new salon and just take your pants off in front of a stranger and hop on a table completely exposed so you can get some pain inflicted upon you. In fact, I can see how this whole scenario involves a lot of trust. Well, you can trust me when I say you are not the hairiest, scariest or smelliest person I have ever worked on. And you can also trust that I will not judge you. I just want to make you bald as efficiently as possible and hopefully keep you distracted enough so that coming back to see me won’t be so nerve wracking next time.

A woman told me that her husband was considering getting a “manzilian.” I told her that he shouldn’t bother. Most men can’t take it and they rarely do it twice. Sorry fellas, it’s the truth.

It doesn’t take a Rocket Scientist to figure out that it is more fun when there is nothing in your way.