Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Pubic hair knows no boundaries. It can travel anywhere. So if a woman has a furry tail at the top of her crack, it ain’t cute, it’s mine.

I grip it then I rip it. Simple.

On this Holy day of the week, take a long moment to pay some respect to that very precious part of the body that brings life into this world.

I was reading an article that said there is a correlation between breast implants and arthritis. That seems really hard to believe. Besides, if there was a correlation, I still think it would be worth it. It’s important to have pretty boobs and a pretty beave.

I don’t care who you sleep with or how many people you sleep with, as long as you’re well groomed while you’re doing it.

Pusses aren’t the only thing I’m good at. I can wax a pretty mean set of brows. I had to laugh when one of my girls called and said she was desperate to come in because she didn’t want her caterpillars to turn into butterflies.

Hemorrhoids don’t bother me except when their owners don’t bathe them properly.

When really bad foot odor isn’t the worse smell in the room, you know it’s going to be a long day.

I know I have said it before, but it is incredible how empowering being bald is.

Movie references continue to amuse me. When a woman tells me to clean up her “Gorilla’s In The Mist,” I am happy to comply.