Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I love these multi-post chronicles of pube stories!

I don’t like using hard wax because it slows me down and every time I have used it on myself, I find that it hurts a lot more. I also prefer the barrier of the strip that separates your lady parts and my gloved hand. And, frankly, I don’t like picking at your puss which is what you have to do after you let the wax harden.

You’re going to think twice about using the blow dryer at the gym, aren’t you?

A woman came into the salon and said she read yesterday’s blog. She knew what health club I was referring to. She said that the other day there was a lady who was standing naked in the locker room with her foot up on a bench and she was blow drying her pubic hair with the communal blow dryer.

I hear there is an upscale workout facility in town that has a lot of women with big, hairy bushes walking around naked in the locker room. I am tempted to join the club just so I can walk around and hand out my cards.

When the girl yesterday asked me if I had ever seen such an ugly puss, the only response I had was to say that I think they are all ugly.

Four college girls came together for a wax. One of the girls had a very loud, vulgar vocabulary and was yelling through the entire service and I was sure that anyone waiting in the hallway could hear her. Towards the end of the wax, she yelled
“don’t I have the ugliest fucking pussy?!”

After I finished her, I left the room to do my next client who was waiting in the hall. When we walked into the other room, she asked me what the “ugliest fucking pussy looked like?”

A woman told me she was propositioned by another woman but didn’t even consider it, because, in her own words, “I ain’t eating out no vagina’s.”

Some of my 40 year old women are wild. They are eager to try new and exciting things. For example, one of my divorced ladies has never had a sexual encounter with another woman. Although she currently has a man in her life, she feels the need to try out the other side just in case she is missing something really awesome. And, of course, she had to prepare herself for this encounter by coming to see me first.

Every once in awhile, the condom comes off inside a woman. And there are times when it is impossible to find that sucker and get it out. So when a 30 year old woman had to go to the doctor to get the condom out of its hiding place, she was mortified that it now says in her permanent record that a foreign object was removed from her vagina.