Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I find your post fascinating and referred you to at least 5 people. You crack me up.

I’ve been blogging about beaves for almost 600 consecutive days, and I just realized that I really don’t have many followers considering how dedicated I have been to this project. I’m beginning to wonder if anyone is really reading what I write or if I’m the only one who is amused by all the weird and crazy shit that happens at Mark & M.E. If you want me to keep up with my continued stories, see if you can find a friend to become a follower so I know someone cares about cootches as much as I do.

I am thinking about starting a Brazilian dictionary. Brazilian Warfare: When I have to use my body as a shield and as an anchor to hold a leg up and control the situation while the client is trying to roll away from me.

It is not uncommon for a boyfriend or husband to come into the room while I am waxing his girl. One of the guys who I have gotten to know pretty well came into the room and announced that he is now a Vagitarian.

I received hate mail because I do Brazilians for a living. Really?

I have mentioned in the past that I prefer hot wax to hard wax for several reasons. For one, I like the barrier of the cloth between your vag and my hands (even though I wear gloves), I find that the hot wax is more efficient, and I personally tend to get irritated at the spots where I have to grab the hard wax in order to pull it off. But now I have another reason I don’t think I will switch products. My best friend lives far from here and she just had her first Brazilian. The woman used hard wax. For some reason the wax wasn’t setting up quick enough so the technician had a small fan between my friend’s legs. What a visual.

After I finished a Brazilian, the girl said she was thankful that she no longer looked like a Jim Henson creation.

Women get tattoos everywhere. And I mean everywhere. And you know you are due for a wax when you have so much hair that you can’t see your tattoo.

There are Groupons for everything these days, including Brazilians. One of my clients went to another salon to take advantage of a cheap wax. When she walked in the room, the girl asked her if she ever had a Brazilian before. She said that she normally went to Mark & M.E. They girl replied with a long sigh and said that she didn’t do them as good as we do. This made the woman quite nervous and, as it turned out, she had every right to be. The technician used small strips, small sticks, and a hard wax on the lips that got stuck to the skin and had to be picked off. After close to an hour, the woman was left red, swollen and rashy. She’ll never cheat on me again.

At work we call it a FUPA -fat upper pussy area.