Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I can’t believe that I have been blogging about beaves for almost two years without missing one day. Obsessive compulsive or passionate about my work? I’m thinking it’s a little bit of both.

I know it can be more painful for some people, but I thought it was a bit of an exaggeration when a woman told me she felt like she was undergoing a female circumcism.

One of my college students spent the past semester in South Africa and continued to read my blog every day while she was away. It blows my mind that someone can keep up with what’s going on here no matter where they are. I graduated with a Master’s degree without ever touching a computer. Believe it or not, I wrote papers on this box like contraption called a typewriter. She mentioned that I tell a lot of stories about waxing asses. I can’t help it. That’s the part that women are usually the most embarrassed about. Get over it. We all have hair there. Just make sure there is nothing else back there.

I have a Holiday slogan that says “you can’t have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha.” So if you haven’t taken the plunge and gone all the way yet, I think now is the time.

Yesterday a woman told me she gave her No Scream Cream to a friend to use on her nipples before she had new areola’s tattooed on her breasts. I’ve heard about women doing that when they have breast cancer but never just because.

And I just wanted to let you know that this is my 600Th consecutive blog. I have been persistent and steady with stories. So doesn’t anybody know someone who can help me get my manuscript published?

I heard about a woman who had really bad pain in her tail bone. They took all sorts of tests and weren’t sure what was going on even though they did see some kind of mass in that area. She went on vacation and the pain got so bad that she could barely walk. When she went to the hospital, they found out that an ingrown hair was burrowing into her actually bone and had become severely infected. The doctors had to surgically remove the hair and clean out the infection. The girl was awake during the procedure and said the smell was absolutely putrid when they cut her open. Just another reason why we wax your crack.

Sometimes new clients will get really nervous when I ask them to roll on their side. Many women will say just about anything to get out of this part of the service. One woman told me that it wasn’t necessary to wax her backside because no one goes fishing in that area.

I cannot imagine doing anything else for a living. I suppose some people would find that disturbing.

Do you really think grabbing my arm is going to make the service easier?

Be thankful that your parts work, even if you aren’t using them right at this moment.