Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I often ask my clients what their plans are for the weekends. When a girl told me she was going to a hockey game, I told her that her man needed to go skating on her rink.

A girl complained to me that her jaw was clicking and hurt. I told her it sounded like she could have TMJ and maybe she should have it looked at. We talked about how it can be caused by stress and by clenching her jaw. She told me she was pretty anxious about her wax since it had been a while. Sorry darling, I am not responsible for your TMJ.

I’m not the only person who waxes at Mark & M.E. so it’s strange when I can hear someone getting waxed in another room but not be able to see what is going on. Not a lot of women scream loud enough that we can hear it through the walls, but it does happen occasionally. The other day I could hear a young girl yelling though the wall. It was weird for me to be able to hear her but not see her. But what really made it unsettling was when I heard her baby start crying. It appears the girl’s screams scared the baby.

There are two reasons why I make Ninja sounds while I rip. Either your hair is a bitch to pull out or you are being a weenie and I am hoping to distract you.

Even though it is a lot easier for me to wax you if you come once a month, it can be really funny what women will say about their bush when it has been longer. For example, a woman came in and said that it had been so long since she had a wax that she could hear the growling in her pants.

If your feet smell really bad, feel free to leave your shoes on.

I can’t believe that I have been blogging about beaves for almost two years without missing one day. Obsessive compulsive or passionate about my work? I’m thinking it’s a little bit of both.

I know it can be more painful for some people, but I thought it was a bit of an exaggeration when a woman told me she felt like she was undergoing a female circumcism.

One of my college students spent the past semester in South Africa and continued to read my blog every day while she was away. It blows my mind that someone can keep up with what’s going on here no matter where they are. I graduated with a Master’s degree without ever touching a computer. Believe it or not, I wrote papers on this box like contraption called a typewriter. She mentioned that I tell a lot of stories about waxing asses. I can’t help it. That’s the part that women are usually the most embarrassed about. Get over it. We all have hair there. Just make sure there is nothing else back there.

I have a Holiday slogan that says “you can’t have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha.” So if you haven’t taken the plunge and gone all the way yet, I think now is the time.