Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I had two young, silly black girls in for their first ever wax. The laughter & screaming could be heard through out the salon. When I had the first girl lift up her leg, her friend yelled, “she expects this nigger to do aerobics!?” My reply was short and to the point. I said, “no, not aerobics. Yoga.”

When a woman told her husband she was getting waxed after work, he said that his European woman was going away again.

A nurse was describing what a prolapsed rectum looked like to me and how difficult is was to clean that area when someone had that medical problem. It sounds like a painful and embarrassing thing that can happen to your body. But I have to admit that one of my first thoughts after feeling sorry and uncomfortable for the woman was how in the hell I would wax her backside. I think I need a break from waxing.

I love being your hero.

I often ask my clients what their plans are for the weekends. When a girl told me she was going to a hockey game, I told her that her man needed to go skating on her rink.

A girl complained to me that her jaw was clicking and hurt. I told her it sounded like she could have TMJ and maybe she should have it looked at. We talked about how it can be caused by stress and by clenching her jaw. She told me she was pretty anxious about her wax since it had been a while. Sorry darling, I am not responsible for your TMJ.

I’m not the only person who waxes at Mark & M.E. so it’s strange when I can hear someone getting waxed in another room but not be able to see what is going on. Not a lot of women scream loud enough that we can hear it through the walls, but it does happen occasionally. The other day I could hear a young girl yelling though the wall. It was weird for me to be able to hear her but not see her. But what really made it unsettling was when I heard her baby start crying. It appears the girl’s screams scared the baby.

There are two reasons why I make Ninja sounds while I rip. Either your hair is a bitch to pull out or you are being a weenie and I am hoping to distract you.

Even though it is a lot easier for me to wax you if you come once a month, it can be really funny what women will say about their bush when it has been longer. For example, a woman came in and said that it had been so long since she had a wax that she could hear the growling in her pants.

If your feet smell really bad, feel free to leave your shoes on.