Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Money tight this year? For fifty one dollars, you can get a Brazilian at Mark & M.E. and a big, red bow from the dollar store and make it the best Christmas he has ever had!

If you have never removed all of your pubic hair, the sensation can be very strange. After a first timer finished cashing out, she sat on our couch in the waiting room and started flapping her knees in and out. I asked her if everything was OK down there. She said she had never felt so free.

I love new clients. They provide me with new blog ideas all of the time. Like yesterday, when I asked a woman to hold her left leg up, she chanted “I’m not gonna kick her, I’m not gonna kick her….” over and over again until she was able to put that leg down.

I love when someone tells me that they love me during the first visit, especially considering what I am doing to them.

And the story continues….The girl on the floor was a bigger girl who had gotten on the table to get waxed but then chickened out. When she got off the table, she put on her bright, yellow thong and sat down trying decide whether or not she had the nerve to try again. When she was on the floor laughing, I asked her friend to roll on her side to wax her ass, and that’s when my girl on the floor started hooting & hollering and actually rolling around on my carpet.

I could actually write a hysterical SNL sketch about the two girls from yesterday. When the girl made the remark about her friend doing aerobics, she literally fell off the chair and was in ball on the floor laughing like a hyena.

I had two young, silly black girls in for their first ever wax. The laughter & screaming could be heard through out the salon. When I had the first girl lift up her leg, her friend yelled, “she expects this nigger to do aerobics!?” My reply was short and to the point. I said, “no, not aerobics. Yoga.”

When a woman told her husband she was getting waxed after work, he said that his European woman was going away again.

A nurse was describing what a prolapsed rectum looked like to me and how difficult is was to clean that area when someone had that medical problem. It sounds like a painful and embarrassing thing that can happen to your body. But I have to admit that one of my first thoughts after feeling sorry and uncomfortable for the woman was how in the hell I would wax her backside. I think I need a break from waxing.

I love being your hero.