Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A girl needed a Brazilian but waited longer than usual so she’d be bald for Valentine’s Day. Her boyfriend was talking dirty to her and asked her if she was getting wet. She said she wasn’t because it was all getting absorbed in her hair.
~Brazilian Bedtime Talk~

Today is dedicated to couples which is pretty obnoxious since there are a lot of people out there who aren’t a part of a couple. So on this Valentine’s Day, if you don’t have a Valentine and can’t find someone to enjoy your Vag, take matters into your own hands. It works better that way most of the time anyways.
~your Brazilian advice columnist~

Furry Fannies
Are No Fun.
~your Brazilian poet~

Men love to contribute their thoughts on our pubic region. One of my girls hadn’t been waxed in several months. Her husband started naming her bush. He referred to it as Abe Lincoln and Abdul, for example. When I finished her Brazilian, I told her to text her man and tell him that M.E. killed Abdul. She did.
~your pubic hair assassin~

Women get very excited when they finish getting their first Brazilian. A girl sat up on the table, swung her legs over the side, looked down at her vagina and exclaimed “Wow, now I’m going to have to name her!”

A girl asked her fuck buddy if her snatch was a scratch-n-sniff, what would it smell like? He told her it smelled and tasted like strawberries. I asked her what she thought he’d say after I gave her a Brazilian? What would your man say?

Friction can cause breakage. Please don’t bitch about it. Be happy you’re getting some.
~your Brazilian consultant~

Please don’t let the idea of getting a

Brazilian

freak you out. It is a quick procedure that really isn’t that horrible. I had a college girl that was so anxious she said she was going to throw up on me. Now that was another first.

Women are so funny about their bodies. I asked a girl to take her pants and undies off and she told me that the man she sleeps with doesn’t even see her naked.
~your Brazilian friend~

lmao! that is so great