Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Tampon talk part 2. When a tampon is only inserted half way into the body, it doesn’t like to stay there. So every time a woman moves, it inches its way out getting in the way of performing a thorough Brazilian.

Let’s talk about tampons. I have absolutely no problem with any woman who comes in for a Brazilian when she has her period as long as she has a clean, fresh tampon in. I do have a problem, however, when the tampon is only put in half way.

When a body part is covered with a lot of hair, it is often difficult to see what lies beneath. After giving a very hairy woman a Brazilian, she said “it really does look like a rose.” Maybe after I finished it could finally smell like one too.

It’s funny how life can turn out. I went from teaching toddlers to tending twats.

A girl went to another salon in Rochester for a Brazilian that specializes in waxing. After a half an hour, the technician said her hair was too coarse to wax. During that time, she only removed a two by two inch patch of hair and there were a ton of strays left behind in that area. The girl called Mark & M.E. in a panic. We told her to come right over. I had her bald in five.

A client of mine had two of her best friend’s drive over two hours just to get Brazilians from me. They all were in the room together offering each other moral support. The first girl was very slender and needed her friend to not only hold her hand, but her leg as well. The friend couldn’t believe how hard it was to hold the girl’s leg up. When a woman is fighting the wax, they become like a person who is high on drugs. They possess an incredible amount of strength and sometimes I think they could move an insurmountable amount of weight. So if you are coming in for a wax and you’re feeling like a weenie, feel free to bring in a friend to help me out.

There are a lot of bald pusses at the Dave Matthews Concert this weekend.
~Brazilians Rock!~

I remember women by different things. For example, a girl came in yesterday that reminded me she was the one who’s calves sweat. I remembered.

A clitoris the size and shape of a quarter. Couldn’t believe it. Another first.
~your Brazilian informant~

The whole naked and pain thing really freaks some girls out. A girl, who was obviously anxious about getting waxed, asked me if doing Brazilians was just clinical to me. I said yes, but more than anything, I think they are fun.