Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

A girl left the salon after getting her first Brazilian, called her best friend, and told her she couldn’t feel her vagina.

Once again a woman told me she waited months between Brazilians because being hairy kept her from having sex. She complained that it hurt more. The wax may not be the only thing that hurts after such a long hiatus.

There are days when I want to use a hose.
~author of Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha~

I can understand being addicted to sex, but not with myself.
~Baffled Brazilian~

If my man told me he didn’t want to have sex with me because he was addicted to masturbating, I would get a new man.
~Brazilian Advice Doctor~

When you’re feeling sad and blue.
Let your waxer do something nice to you.
I’ll rip your hair nice and fast.
And promise then you’ll have a blast.

Yesterday’s scenario is just another example of why getting a Brazilian is not a luxury but a medical necessity.

If your hair is really dark and coarse, it can be very uncomfortable to let it grow out long enough to get a Brazilian. During the growing out stage, one of my client’s had relations with her fiancé. Afterwards, he told her that “her shit down there really messed up his shit down there.”

A girl got on the table and said she was a baby. I told her I waxed lots of babies. She said she was really nervous. I assured her I was really fast. When she lifted her leg in the air, she said she was afraid she was going to kick me. I told her I’ve been kicked before and that she wasn’t big enough to hurt me. I completed her Brazilian without crying, a nervous breakdown or injury.

There should be a warning on a Brazilian, because when there is no hair to create friction, things can get very slippery.