Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I think it would be cool to live in a world called HooHavia.
~your Brazilian daydreamer~

Next week I am going back to Florida to do a book signing at a very busy local coffee shop. Since there are so many snowbirds in Florida this time of the year, I think my charming yellow book about Brazilians is going to cause quite a stir.

Once the lady in the pool recovered from the shock that I wrote a book called The Happy Hoo-Ha, she said she did not think she could ever read a book about it, because the whole notion of a Brazilian seemed so outrageous to her. That was when her husband, who was sitting under an umbrella about thirty feet from us, raised his hand and said “I want to read it!”

I was hanging out in a pool with 5 women over the age of 70. The one has a son who is a very successful author. We were talking about finding an agent. The one lady did not know I had written a book and asked me what it was about. I told her it was about Brazilian Bikini Waxing. She thought she misheard me and asked me to repeat myself. So I said it again. That was when she got the most frightened look on her face and started sinking into the water like she had had the wind knocked out of her. One of the other ladies rushed over to her, pulled her up, gave her a big hug and started laughing hysterically.

It is hard not to think about my job every single day. There are reminders all around me. For example,I was sitting on our porch reading a book when I looked up and saw a man who looked like a gorilla. The length and density of his upper body hair completely covered every square inch of his skin. It is 80 degrees and humid here and I cannot even imagine how hot and uncomfortable all of his hair has to be. It was making me sweat! And I shudder to think how unruly it was under his bathing trunks. I was daydreaming about going after this man with a hedge clippers. I can see the headlines now “Crazed New York woman attacks innocent man on the beach with hedge clippers.”
~your Brazilian Botanist~

If you’re bored in the bedroom, take that bad-ass feeling you get when you walk out of our salon with a fresh Brazilian and start your own Romance Novel.

A man with a very large piercing just happened to have a very long penis, even in its relaxed state. So my thought is if you want your man to have a longer one, maybe you should encourage him to get a big, heavy ring punctured in the tip of his most prized possession. But be careful how you approach the subject, however, because it may not go over well.
~strange advice from your friendly Wax Queen~

Now that I am doing more Brozillians, I am seeing more piercings. And I have to admit that I am baffled by how large of a ring some men can put in their member.

I am reading a book called the Secret. It talks about how your positive thoughts will lead to positive actions. And that got me thinking about getting a Brazilian Bikini Wax. (Of course it did!) If you come to the salon dreading that it is going to be the worst pain in your life, then it will be. But if you come in thinking that it is going to be quick and easy and not a big deal, then that is what it will be. Just food for thought on this beautiful morning.

I discovered an interesting benefit to giving a man a Brazilian. When he squirms off the table, which happens with both men and women, I have something to hang onto so he does not actually fall to the floor.