Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

I use massage tables for my clients to relax on while I give them their Brazilians. Yesterday, a girl said that she really wanted handles to hold onto. There are no handles on my tables. Since it made it difficult for me to do my job with her hanging onto my arms, she settled for something else to squeeze——her boobs.

I had a new client come in this morning for a Brazilian. She had three children and a few tattoos. She warned me that she didn’t deal well with pain. She wasn’t kidding me. After a few rips, she yelled “Dear Lord, I should have taken a tranquilizer!”

Although a Brazilian Bikini Wax refers to the removal of all of the pubic and rectal hair, many women like to leave hair in the front. We usually refer to that hair by its shape, whether it be a rectangle that looks like a landing strip or a triangle that we at Mark and M.E. refer to as a Martini Glass. The other day, I had a woman ask me to leave a large Bermuda Triangle on her. That just sounded dangerous and for some reason wrong.

A young woman came to Mark and M.E. today for a Brazilian. It wasn’t her first time at our salon, but it was her first time with M.E. She wanted to know if I liked my job. I said NO. She looked at me surprised. I continued by saying that I don’t like my job,  I LOVE my job. She said she has never met anyone before who loved their job.  Listen, I made thirty women feel better and sexier today. It was a great day. What’s not to love about my job?

Sometimes the hoo-ha isn’t always the happiest after a wax. It can be reflective of your current health, time of the month, whether or not you worked out that day, if you’re dehydrated or even due to the products you put on the area afterwards. One of my clients created a cocktail for when her hoo-ha has bumps or irritation. She uses a mix of hydrocortisone cream and an antibiotic lotion. She said it clears the area quickly and makes it feel better almost immediately.

I have a man in his 60’s who travels over an hour one way to get Brazilians by me. The last time he was in, he brought a friend. The friend was convinced that a happy ending must accompany the service for this guy to travel so far to see me. I hadn’t heard anyone suggest that in a long time. I may be funny and sometimes a little crude, but when it comes to the service, I’m always a professional. If you’re looking for a rub-a-dub-dub, Mark and M.E. is not the place to go.

I got my first review of 2nd Generation Passion on Amazon!  It’s the third book in my erotic series entitled A Promise of Passion

. This reader gave me five stars!

“Oh how I love these books. Such a fast and sexy book to read. Every chapter keeps you engaged. Can’t wait for the next book.”

To all the men and women who resemble sphinx cats in our fair city due to the hard work of the staff at the Mark and M.E. salon, we wish you all an awesome February break 2017!

Waxing versus shaving?? This morning a client told me that it looks like she has chicken pox of the crotch when she shaves. That’s not sexy.

A Brazilian Wax refers to the type of bikini wax that removes all of the pubic and rectal hair. It has become an extremely popular service worldwide and Mark and M.E. is proud to be the ‘Home of the 10 Minute Brazilian.’ Many women are afraid to get their backsides waxed, however, due to embarrassment or the notion that it is going to be the most painful part. On the contrary, waxing between the cheeks is the least painful part of the service. Yesterday, I asked a woman to lie on her side so I could do that forbidden area. She hesitated and said she wasn’t sure she wanted it done because she didn’t want to “give him any ideas.” Oh my… the things my clients share with me.