Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Many women have trouble getting pregnant these days. I waxed a woman who told me that this was “baby making week.” She is taking fertility drugs and monitoring her cycle, so she knows that this is the week it could happen. After I finished her Brazilian, I told her that I paved an easier path for her “baby making” to happen.

The cashiers at Michaels always assume I have a big art project when I buy popsicle sticks in massive quantities. I have to admit that sometimes my projects are big.

Don’t be afraid that when I rip off your hair that I will rip off those natural pheromones that make you so desirable. In my opinion, the act of ripping out your hair actually stimulates those pheromones and make you even more irresistible.

When I told this guy I was having my second book published in a few weeks, he seemed very impressed. Then he asked me what I wrote about. You should have seen his face when I said I write about vaginas. It was priceless!

At least he had a decent sized salutation.

If you are a gentleman coming in for a Brazilian and feel the need to salute me when you undress, I would prefer if you pinched your parts really hard and stood at ease.  I am a Queen, not a Lieutenant.

Some people like it hot.  I like it hairy.

Some people wait a long time between waxes in the winter. And although I don’t really think pubic hair keeps you any warmer in our less-than-tropical climate, it is a good time of the year to save some money. So a woman came in and told me that it was finally time for her to remove her winter coat. She wasn’t kidding. It was the kind of coat you’d need in Siberia!

In the first 50 Shades of Grey, Christian expects Ana to get waxed, but she doesn’t. Sub or no sub, doesn’t he know women don’t really like to be told what to do?

I can’t imagine anyone not getting a Brazilian who lived in a ninety-degree climate.