Mark & I went to a really hot burlesque show in Las Vegas. There were a couple of things I noticed at the show…#1. The women could not have any pubic hair because their outfits were too small. #2. Aside from the skinny girl with a flat chest who looked stoned, I found the other women very attractive. #3. I wish my butt looked like the women on stage. #4. Long hair is sexy and I plan to grow mine back. #5. David Copperfield didn’t turn me on as much as these women did. #6. I couldn’t be a lesbian no matter how hot the women on the stage were. I’ve seen too many scary lady parts in my career. #7. I’m glad I married an open minded man who looks at me like he does those women on the stage. #8. Burlesque in Las Vegas rocks.
Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha
Thoughts, stories, and insights from M.E. Nesser
Since I teased you with the opening stanza from The Howling Hoo-Ha poem, I thought I’d tease you with another part.
I hate to tell you
But this is gonna hurt-
When I dig up the bush
I pray there’s no dirt.
In my latest book, The Happy Trail, I wrote a ton of funny poems. There is one entitled “The Howling Hoo-Ha.” In order to give you an idea what my poetry is like, I decided to share the first stanza with you.
What is that creature
Sitting on your lap?
Is it some kind of animal
Taking a nap?
Sunday story time… A man came in for a back and between the cheek wax. We chatted and laughed and everything went nice and easy. When I finished his back, I asked him to remove his pants so I could wax between his cheeks. He said, “M.E. don’t go waxing my hemorrhoid!” I said, “Dude, I’m not getting near your hemorrhoid.” When he turned on his side, lifted his leg and then lifted his cheek, I shouted, “Holy shit, there’s a whole family back here!”
A few years ago, Mark and I decided to give each other “gifts of time” for special occasions. At this point in our lives, tangible gifts aren’t necessary anymore. Spending quality time together doing something fun, different or special have so much more meaning. A piece of jewelry won’t cement a relationship like a quiet walk down a beach hand in hand. This weekend we will be going away to enjoy our gift of time for his birthday with my mom and Frank. We leave the shop at noon tomorrow and will return to work next Thursday. The salon will be open while we are gone, but you can still get in this week if you need us. Relationships don’t have to be that hard if you remember why you fell in love in the first place.
PS: I’ll make sure to wax my legs so the plane flies faster. Maybe Mark will let me wax his too, just for fun!
Yesterday, the majority of the women I waxed were traveling somewhere this week. They were going to various parts of the Caribbean, Europe, and one was even traveling to Saudi Arabia. I guess they understand that getting waxed before a vacation lightens the plane so it can go faster and they can get to their destination more quickly.
Loving every year with this man. If you get the chance, wish Mark a happy birthday!
Someone sent me an email request to take care of her fuzzy peach. Maybe she should have asked me for a nectarine?
~Brazilian Humor Continues…~
This past week was a lot of fun. There were several groups of customers that wanted to experience their Brazilians together. The laughter was infectious, the swearing was constant, and the screams for Jesus could be heard through the entire building. Thank you to everyone who have made my job such a blast!
When my girl from yesterday got her 2 hour Brazilian from Hell, the technician asked if an apprentice could come into the room to observe. She said the young girl reminded her of a Baseball Catcher with the way she had her head and her face all up in her business. She wasn’t sure if the girl had never seen a vagina or she had never seen a black vagina before. I told her all vaginas pretty much looked the same. Black one’s just have a better tan. My client said it felt like the apprentice was looking “into her soul.” Like the two hour service wasn’t awkward enough!