Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha

Mark and M.E. Wedding Fiasco Day 6: I need to backtrack one day. My folks and I shared a two bedroom suite at the Marriott the night before the wedding. At 3 in the morning, there was a fire alarm that went off. It was loud and super annoying. Employees pounded on all of our doors to evacuate the building. It was single digits outside and there were dozens of people standing in the parking lot freezing their butts off. I remember my sister and I hiding in the stairwell, because it was too cold to stand outside. There goes my good night’s sleep before my wedding day. On a happier note…the next morning, as I was getting dressed, Mark sent me flowers to my room that said Happy Valentine’s Day. He didn’t forget that our wedding day was also a special holiday for people in love.

Mark and M.E. Wedding Fiasco Day 5: Room wasn’t ready, place was dirty, not enough seating, not enough bars…nothing else could go wrong, right? Oh yes it could. Not only did they run out of food, when they put a rush to get more chicken out, it wasn’t cooked. Yep, raw chicken. Not quite a delicacy in the US. People literally left the reception and went across the street to Burger King. Yep, Burger King.

Mark and M.E. Wedding Fiasco Day 4: With 327 guests, we were supposed to have 4 bars set up with top-shelf open bar all night. We don’t skimp when it comes to a party. There were only 2 bars and the bartenders were skimping on the amount of alcohol being poured. I remember my dad scolding the one bartender in his diplomatic and insurance-like way.  With that many people, we needed 4 bars. It wasn’t pretty.

Mark and M.E. Wedding Fiasco Day 3: When we finally got into the ballroom an hour later than scheduled, there were not enough tables set up for all of the guests. The staff had to scramble around to find another round table and enough chairs to seat the remaining people. They also had to move some the existing tables to accommodate the additional seating. It wouldn’t have been half as annoying if they hadn’t required me to give them the head count like a gazillion times.

I’ve sold dozens of my latest book entitled Passion Never Dies. It is the sequel to A Promise of Passion. The feedback from you has been amazing. Everyone has liked this book better than the first. I’m excited to tell you I’m almost finished with the 3rd one. If you are one of the readers who enjoyed Passion Never Dies, please review it on Amazon for me. That’s what I need to make people take notice of me as a writer. Thank you in advance!

Mark and M.E. Wedding Fiasco Day 2: We had 327 guests at our wedding. Remember, Mark is Italian and Lebanese and they reproduce like bunnies. 2/3’s of the guest were from his side of the family. The wedding was at 2pm, although my father made sure I was late. He needed to know my impatient fiancé would wait for me. The reception was supposed to begin at 6pm. Unfortunately, the room wasn’t ready until 7pm so we were forced to hang out in the hallway. It was very crowded and annoying. When we finally entered the ballroom, they hadn’t even vacuumed from the afternoon event that took place in the room.

Mark and I have been married 29 years. Last night someone reminded us of one of the mishaps at our wedding reception. We had it at the Marriott in Henrietta, which is now the RIT Conference Center. While everyone was dancing, the dance floor kept separating. Women’s heels were getting caught between the segments and it was causing our guests to lose their balance. It was annoying and dangerous. There were men physically on their hands and knees using duck tape to try to keep the floor together. This was only one of the issues. More to come.

Women spend an exorbitant amount of time shaving their bikini area. That is why they need to start getting waxed at Mark & M.E. We give people more time to enjoy life.

I now have an author page on Amazon. Please check it out!   amazon.com/author/menesser.com

www.apromiseofpassion.com has a new entry. It contains adult content. Read it if you dare.