Sometimes, I wonder if I should have gone into medicine. A woman who just had a baby had a really large ingrown hair. It was the size of a cashew on steroids. I got my gloves on, waxed over it to get rid of all the hair, moved my spotlight closer and prepared for inspection. When I squeezed it, a ton of pus shot up towards my face. It probably exploded a good six inches from her midsection. My eyes felt protected since I wear glasses, but the rest of my face felt vulnerable and I wished at that moment that I had a mask on. Although no pus touched my skin, it felt like it was a very close call. I kept draining the alien, because it needed to be free. There was so much pus oozing out that the fingertips of my right hand were dripping all over her stomach. I’m happy to say I was able to extract several stubborn hairs from the area and make the surface flat. Alien versus Sassysnatch: The volcano edition.
Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha
Thoughts, stories, and insights from M.E. Nesser
Happiness is…when you’re soaking in a tub of epson salts and commenting that you ran out of hot water and the next thing you know your husband enters the room with a large corn kettle full of hot water.
If I had $100 for every time a woman asks me if her vagina looks weird, I’d be a very wealthy woman. In my opinion, they all look weird. I’ve always been more of a fan of our masculine counterparts. However, I do think they look less weird without hair.
Mark & I will be out of town January 28-30 celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary. Now that we are older, it takes three days to celebrate properly.
Even though my car is in a heated garage at night, Mark pulled it out half way and started it this morning so it would be warm when I got in it. He knows how much I hate being cold and wanted me to be more comfortable when I drove to the gym. Sometimes, it really is the little things that can make you happy.
Last night, I fell asleep with my rings on. This morning, I seriously need the jaws of life to get them off, because my hands are so swollen. I could be upset that my arthritic hands are inflamed, but my first thought was how fun and busy I was waxing yesterday which caused my hands to flare up. It’s all about attitude.
Happy wins.
I read a review online that complained I missed a few hairs from time to time. In my opinion, would you prefer an efficient 10 Minute Brazilian with a few strays or a 45 minute Brazilian from Hell with not a one? Since then, I put a bright light at the end of one of my tables so I can get an even closer look at the subject at hand. One of my regulars gave me so much grief about having a spotlight on her snatch last night, all we could do was laugh hysterically. Thank you for keeping it real!
Thank you to all of the people who bought The Happy Trail over the Christmas holidays! If you’ve read any of it and I’ve made you laugh, please take a minute to review the book on Amazon. I could really use some reviews. Thank you in advance!!
A young woman comes in and confesses she is sporting a thick rug, but she needed it bald because her man was getting released after five years of confinement. She wasn’t kidding. It wasn’t a rug, it was a dense shag carpet. She started screaming for Jesus. I’m begging her to breath because I know it hurts. Her screams can be heard down the street to St Anne’ Church. I am confident she will need more than Jesus to get her through the service. It wasn’t easy for either one of us. By the end of the service, my neck is screaming and so is her midsection. It was one of those moments where I confess that I’m getting too old for this shit.